Early in high school I began to feel a great lack of meaning in my life, and I became very apathetic toward most of my endeavors. Low grades and a general feeling of failure were the result. Soon I took up social drinking to become more acceptable to the "in crowd" and to forget about my failings.

I had speculated that becoming more sociable would bring me immediate happiness, but it only made matters worse; for I found that relationships formed on the basis of social acceptability were superficial. None of my new relationships satisfied a deep yearning for meaningful companionship. So my sense of failure grew, and a deep feeling of depression set in.

Seeing that only Christian Science promised to really heal me and solve my problems, I turned to what I had been learning in the Christian Science Sunday School and tried to practice it.

This was not an easy task. It was difficult to apply the truths of the pure, perfect world of Spirit that I was beginning to glimpse on Sundays to the very imperfect world I experienced weekdays at high school. Yet I strove, as never before and in every circumstance, consciously to know and to feel what it means to be the child of God.

For over a year I worked closely with a Christian Science practitioner to whom I could pour out my deepest troubles without reservation. Tender encouragement, forgiveness, wisdom, and uplifting, scientific truths always met my outpourings. I also received prayerful support and guidance from my parents, both of whom are Christian Scientists, during this time.

At first I caught only occasional glimpses of my true relationship to God, and they were interspersed with long periods of severe doubting of that relationship and the efficacy of Christian Science. But through persistent striving I eventually began to feel the presence of Father-Mother Love, God, caring for me no matter what my circumstances appeared to be. Being the child of God—expressing His divine qualities—I discovered, is the very meaning of life.

During this time I began to study a portion of the daily Bible Lesson in the Christian Science Quarterly almost every morning and started to read the Christian Science periodicals. The scientific truths and experiences of healing I found in my reading showed me that my difficulties could be overcome. These lessons gave me strength to resist the temptation to be lackadaisical, apathetic, or to follow the crowd blindly. They helped me see a higher purpose to my life—that I should express the vigor, intelligence, and spiritual vision I possessed as the man God created. Light and joy began to permeate my day, whereas darkness and boredom had predominated before.

Gradually my life was transformed. My schoolwork became interesting and challenging, and I began to receive high marks. Drinking ceased to be desirable. New friendships, based on mutual interests and respect, were formed with those of both the "in" and "out" crowds.

Soon thereafter I began to participate sincerely in my branch church, where I had been a member in word but not in deed. Also, by the end of high school I had become a member of The Mother Church, The First Church of Christ, Scientist, in Boston, Massachusetts. Through church activity I found Christian fellowship, which was a tremendous support as I tried my wings in applying my newfound understanding of Christian Science healing. And in this way I was prepared to meet future challenges of all kinds through prayer alone.

What can explain such a transformation of character? Only an understanding of the reforming, regenerating activity of the Christ in human thought. Mrs. Eddy, in her book Science and Health, defines Christ as "the divine manifestation of God, which comes to the flesh to destroy incarnate error." ^{Science and Health, p. 583.} She also characterizes Christ as "the real man and his relation to God." ^{Ibid., p. 316.}

It is the Christ that transforms our character. How does this occur? The faults of mortal man gradually fade from our experience as we begin to turn our thought to God and understand more of "the real man and his relation to God"—as the spiritual, perfect child of God's creating.

The natural outcome of this appearing of the real man is the more consistent expression of the Christlike qualities—such as temperance, vitality, patience, and purity—in our lives. Those qualities replace their opposites in our consciousness, just as light by its very presence replaces darkness. Thus character faults, having no basis in thought, disappear from our experience as we diligently strive to grasp the spiritual idea of manhood and express it in our lives. Evidently this was my experience in high school, even though I did not know it at the time.

The life of the Apostle Paul is an outstanding example and clear illustration of this reforming, regenerating activity of Christ in human consciousness. Paul, then called Saul, had violently persecuted the Christians and had consented to the fatal stoning of Stephen, an early evangelist of Christianity. But on the road to Damascus, where, Acts tells us, he planned to round up Christian men and women to bring them back to Jerusalem for trial, the light of Christ, Truth, dawned on his consciousness.

Just as he had been spiritually blind to the divinity of Christ Jesus' mission, Paul now found himself physically blind. But the result of his new understanding, or new vision, of that mission was the healing of his blindness and his baptism into Christianity by Ananias, a disciple living in Damascus. And this conversion brought a new sense of divine purpose, direction, and fulfillment to Paul's life. The persecutor of Christians now preached Christ from Jerusalem to Rome, healed the sick and sinning, and became Christianity's greatest evangelist.

Science and Health describes the radical transformation of Paul's character in this way: "Saul of Tarsus beheld the way—the Christ, or Truth—only when his uncertain sense of right yielded to a spiritual sense, which is always right. Then the man was changed. Thought assumed a nobler outlook, and his life became more spiritual." ^{Ibid., p. 326.}

Even though we may already consider ourselves Christians, aspects of our lives may still need to be converted to Christianity. One definition of the word Christian is "manifesting the qualities or spirit of Christ; Christlike." So whatever is unchristlike—and thus ungodlike—in our consciousness can be considered unchristian. It must be put off so that consciousness can be converted to a more spiritual Christianity.

Paul's dramatic change is an excellent illustration of his later teaching on the old and the new man. In a letter to the Christians at Corinth, Paul wrote: "If any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new." ^{II Cor. 5:17.} Through spiritual receptivity to the Christ, the spiritual idea of manhood, we too can experience a sense of newness or spiritual rebirth. To the degree we demonstrate Christ, Truth, the result will be a new, deeper sense of divine mission and fulfillment for us—such as Paul must have experienced in his mission to establish the Christian Church among the Gentiles.

Transformation of character demands of us courage and honesty to face up to our shortcomings—and sometimes it involves a mighty struggle. But no matter how difficult the challenge appears to be, we need not fear it. Instead we should remember that it is not through a power of our own, but through the impersonal, spiritual power of the Christ—which emanates from God—that the victory is won.

There is sound counsel and great encouragement in these words from an article entitled "Obedience" by Mrs. Eddy: "Self-ignorance, self-will, self-righteousness, lust, covetousness, envy, revenge, are foes to grace, peace, and progress; they must be met manfully and overcome, or they will uproot all happiness. Be of good cheer; the warfare with one's self is grand; it gives one plenty of employment, and the divine Principle worketh with you,—and obedience crowns persistent effort with everlasting victory." ^{Miscellaneous Writings, p. 118 .}

As ye have therefore received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk ye in him: rooted and built up in him, and stablished in the faith, as ye have been taught, abounding therein with thanksgiving.

Colossians 2:6, 7