For many years I tried to cope with a continuous underlying...

For many years I tried to cope with a continuous underlying feeling of anxiety. My childhood had not been a very secure one. My parents were actors and there were lots of ups and downs which might explain the feeling of anxiety I felt as a child. But why did I feel that way as an adult? I wondered. I was very successful in my work. I was loved. I had all the material things that are supposed to make one feel secure. But still it was there—that nagging feeling.

For some time I prayed each night, sometimes out of deep sorrow, for a release from this state. Then one day Christian Science was presented to me. I was given a copy of Science and Health by Mrs. Eddy. I began reading the chapter "Prayer," and my eyes fell on this passage (p. 1): "Thoughts unspoken are not unknown to the divine Mind. Desire is prayer; and no loss can occur from trusting God with our desires, that they may be moulded and exalted before they take form in words and in deeds."

I felt the gift of this book was an answer to my prayers, my heartfelt desire to improve my thoughts. I visited a Christian Science practitioner and asked for prayerful help. She lovingly encouraged me to read the book from cover to cover. As I did this, she told me, I would begin to see myself as a perfect child of God—always secure because I couldn't be separated from His constant care. She assured me she would pray for me and work with me.

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April 7, 1986

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