The non-event

Virginia Thesiger

"I have decided," said my nose,
"to have a cold.
If you gave me a rose
I couldn't smell it.
Moreover I intend to sneeze
often, in fact whenever I please.
I will have to be blown frequently ...
... or so I've been told ....
There! What did I say!"

"Look, nose," I said
(more sternly than lovingly I fear—
but sometimes one has to take a stand);
"Look, nose, you are being quite absurd!
I mean, for heaven's sake, who do you think you are?
Have you not heard
that God is in charge here?
And neither God nor I
(who am made in His image
and am His ambassador
and a spreader of His Word
and entirely good and happy and well ...
... spiritual, if you remember? ...
in fact as sound as that proverbial bell ...)

"As I was saying ... neither God nor I
am the least bit interested in your news.
For whatever your views you cannot start
anything, certainly not a cold,
all on your own.
So stand corrected!"

"OK," said nose, not liking my tone,
"OK, OK! Just as you say!"
And suddenly disaffected
the cold just blew away.
What a relief!

Well, poor thing, it was just a belief.

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