Article January 19, 1981 Issue

"Wife-ing"

SYLVIA DICK KARAS

Whether you're married or single, female or male, you can be deeply involved with "wife-ing"—doing all the quiet, backup, foundational, strengthening work generally associated with being a good wife. Why? Because wife-ing isn't personal or sexual. Although traditionally associated with marriage and the female spouse, wife-ing is actually the commitment to support right action.

If we're involved with life, we're involved with action. All right action calls for adequate support. Many kinds of activity go into the home, our work, the community, church, and personal relationships, but there's an unmistakably familiar feel to the supporting work that makes success possible. Wife-ing sets the stage, clears the decks, buttresses calm with patience, weaves frazzled details back into supporting order, "knits up the ravell'd sleave of care." When the blast comes and goes, and an individual or project is still standing, what's that from? Good wife-ing, doing all the supporting work that gives the hidden strength and secret reserves to cushion and nullify the shock of reaction when going forward makes waves.

What helps good wife-ing? Quiet qualities, derived from God, such as humility, obedience, selflessness, faith, and persistence. And most of all, unselfed love—love expressed in the generosity to do a detail without needing to see the ultimate outcome of our work, the willingness to work anonymously for good without needing to sign our name, the ability to support without wanting to possess.

Send a comment to the editors

We'd love to hear from you!

Easily submit your testimonies, articles, and poems online.

Submit

"Wife-ing"

We'd love to hear from you!

Sign up for unlimited access