An ethical dilemma, and an honest response

At the time we got married, both my husband and I were graduate students. Our income was modest, but we made it work. Needless to say, when he graduated, we were both pretty excited at the prospect of at least one of us having a “real” income. Although it took some time to find employment, through patience, prayer, and hard work he eventually found a job that was interesting for him professionally and helped provide for us financially.  

Unfortunately, what had seemed like a start-up company with potential quickly began to look like a losing proposition. A lot of false promises were being made, some of which were ethically questionable. My husband and I talked about his sticking it out until he could find another job, but as the weeks passed, he felt strongly that he needed to leave … now.

Then came the thoughts to me: “How could he do this to me? To us?” “We finally had some stability. What is he doing?” “Couldn’t he have stuck this out a little longer? He promised me he would!” I was angry and frustrated. Yet at the same time, I felt guilty: How could I not be supporting him in what he feels is a principled decision? In spite of my best reasoning, I couldn’t find any peace about the situation. While self-pity and self-justification provided a momentary sense of satisfaction, it hardly made me feel better about the situation. In fact, I was miserable. 

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