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This ancient Greek legend of Narcissus is a cautionary tale that’s just as helpful and relevant today. The narcissism of this age wears many masks including ego, egotism, conceit, arrogance, vanity, self-love, self-absorption, sensuality, and personal sense. 

No iteration of it is particularly attractive, as one can see from events in the news. From a strongman in Syria to bankers lining their own pockets at the expense of others, to bullying on the Internet, individual evidences of egotism and extreme forms of misguided self-involvement need to be directly addressed with prayer. 

Several years ago in Newsweek magazine, octogenarian Marcia Nasatir, co-host of the then popular Internet film review program called The Reel Geezers, observed: “I would like movies to address more issues. The pictures now are what I call ‘me pictures.’ It’s all ‘me, me, me’ ” (Jesse Ellison, “Inside the Geezers Studio,” June 7, 2008, Newsweek/Daily Beast Company).

This strikes me as an excellent assessment of the problem many face, especially those who are tempted to put themselves first even when their own spiritual sense warns them otherwise. Narcissism leads one to focus on “me, me, me,” rather than to live a more balanced, productive, and generous life. The cost to oneself of such self-centeredness might include the failure to address real issues or to engage in meaningful relationships. It might lure one into doing things contrary to his or her true nature, such as ending up on the wrong side of ethical decisions. 

Undoubtedly, the greatest cost of self-absorption is that those willing to indulge it are so busy looking at themselves that God is left largely out of the picture. This forfeits spiritual advancement, spiritual substance, and divine purpose—a pretty stiff price to pay.

David, the great king whose life story is told in the Old Testament of the Bible, provides an example of narcissism and illustrates how it must ultimately be confronted in order to restore one’s relation to God (see II Samuel, chap. 11). David loved God; we see instances of this in his early life, particularly when he confronted and overcame Goliath. 

Later, however, after he had become king, he yielded to temptation. One evening, from the rooftop of his palace, David saw a beautiful woman bathing. The moment he saw her, he wanted Bathsheba for his own, so he sent messengers to bring her to him, despite the fact that she was married to another man. When David learned that she had become pregnant from their encounter, he called for her husband, Uriah—a soldier in David’s army. 

The king gave Uriah the evening off to go home and be with his wife. Uriah was a just and loyal man, so he didn’t feel right about going to the luxury of his own home, while his fellow soldiers were still on the battlefield. David’s plan to cover his indiscretion had been foiled. But rather than address it forthrightly, he told his officer to put Uriah at the front of a fierce battle against the Syrians, and then to remove all support. This would ensure that Uriah would be killed. Once Uriah was gone and the period of Bathsheba’s mourning for her husband was over, the king took her as his own wife.

Now, as I said, David loved God, but more important, God loved David. So He sent the prophet Nathan to meet with David. Nathan told David a story of two men, one rich and the other poor. The rich man had much livestock, but the poor man had only one little lamb that he loved and cared for. When the rich man wanted to entertain a traveler, instead of taking a lamb from his own flock, he stole the poor man’s ewe. As Nathan told this story, David grew very angry and finally vowed: “As surely as the Lord lives, . . . any man who would do such a thing deserves to die! He must repay four lambs to the poor man for the one he stole and for having no pity.” 

Nathan responded to David, “You are that man!” Then he went on to enumerate all that God had already done for David, and asked, “Why, then, have you despised the word of the Lord and done this horrible deed?” (II Samuel 12:5–7, 9, New Living Translation). Nathan’s courageous confrontation of the king helped him to see the error of his ways. David was willing to repent, and went on to be a great king.

A sincere desire to grow in the kind of spiritual grace that God bestows on each of us is, perhaps, one of life’s sweetest gifts. 

This story offers many lessons for those ready to relinquish the myriad forms of narcissism. First off, David allowed himself to be utterly spellbound by his desire for Bathsheba. Isn’t this how narcissism works? One becomes mesmerized by money, power, fame, beauty, or even strongly held opinions. When that happens, all too often one is seduced into behaving totally contrary to one’s true nature and engages in something deceptive, conniving, or insensitive to others. In David’s case, it included having Uriah killed to cover David’s sin. 

While it may take different forms for others, the common thread is that narcissism focuses thought on self and leads one to believe that everything and everyone else—even God—is less important than one’s own desires. But like David, everyone can find redemption by discovering their innate spiritual qualities such as love, truth, mercy, justice, compassion, and by putting them into practice.

The Apostle Paul assured the Romans that nothing “shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:39). In her textbook, Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures, Mary Baker Eddy offers helpful insight into how to turn from the self-love that ruined Narcissus to the spirituality represented by Jesus and his followers. She writes, “What we most need is the prayer of fervent desire for growth in grace, expressed in patience, meekness, love, and good deeds” (p. 4). 

A sincere desire to grow in the kind of spiritual grace that God bestows on each of us is, perhaps, one of life’s sweetest gifts. Little is as satisfying as knowing when our actions have deeply blessed another. Nothing is more attractive than bearing witness to one who turns thought outward to consider the well-being of others. This can be seen on the streets of Damascus or in financial districts, the kind word of a classmate to a victim of bullying, and in the many people who have offered their help and prayers to those who fell prey to the gunman who attacked moviegoers in Colorado. 

David had to confront his self-absorption. So must we. Once he did this, David experienced full redemption. So will we. By its very definition, civilization demands that each of us accept a higher, more spiritual view of ourselves. 

When we do, serving God will take its proper place as the motive behind our every action. It will illustrate our inseparability from God and show us that God loves us. In this way, we will express the “patience, meekness, love, and good deeds” that distinguish the children of God. Rather than withering away as Narcissus did, our lives will blossom with new meaning every day!