When your life experience includes one or more forms of abuse, being completely healed of the effects of that abuse can be challenging. When I first worked with a Christian Science practitioner, we talked together about my Father-Mother God’s great love for me and about my ability to forgive and move forward. At that time, that felt like an impossible task, but it did point me in the right direction. Eventually, a diligent commitment to a spiritual approach to forgiveness freed me from the results of mental and physical abuse, and I was able to live without dwelling on the past. 

However, further progress was needed. When my past came up during a conversation with a friend, I realized that for years I had been allowing myself to develop only friendships. I was closed off to anything deeper than that—so much so that I was genuinely confused by the prospect of dating. I realized that walling myself off had prevented me from completely healing the belief that I had experienced abuse, and I needed to let go of that. I tried to pray for myself, but couldn’t, so the next day, I called another practitioner to help me. 

She asked me to consider this quote from the Bible: “If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple” (Luke 14:26). She explained that Jesus is not asking us to hate those we love. He is asking us to hate the belief that we are mortals and accept that, instead, we are wholly spiritual as children of God, Spirit. This enables us to release ourselves from believing that we are mortal and to forgive ourselves for ever thinking that we were. I had never considered this type of forgiveness before. 

After speaking with the practitioner, I began to release myself from the belief that my past included a time when I had experienced something outside of God, good—a time where I had been separated from my loving Father-Mother. I acknowledged that if God had not experienced something, then I, as His image and likeness, could not experience it either. Human history is not a spiritual fact. Only eternal existence in the kingdom of Spirit is true. 

Understanding this, I realized that the belief of abuse could not attach itself to me. I’m not a magnet for a physical history to stick to! I am, and always have been, only spiritual, because Spirit is the only cause and creator. Through prayer, I was being shown the reality of my oneness with God. I refused to continue thinking that the unreal was real or that I had ever been separated from God.

Two words that came to me to study were feebleness and integrity. According to various definitions I found online, feebleness implies mental or physical weakness, while integrity is the state of being whole and undivided. I realized that my life was wholly in and of God—Spirit, Truth, and Love. There is no feebleness in God or His kingdom, where we all “live, and move, and have our being” (Acts 17:28). I was created by God, and nothing can ever change or be added to or removed from what God has done. As God’s creation, I express spiritual integrity, and my true, spiritual identity can never be corrupted by the belief of a mortal life. I understood that I am now, and always have been, in God’s presence. There is no possibility of my being anywhere else. 

When I had prayed in the past, Jesus’ statement about his yoke being easy and his burden light (see Matthew 11:28–30) had helped me. I saw my life as much easier than his had been, and this somewhat released me from thinking that I had had a difficult past. But now a higher, spiritual meaning of this verse came to me, and I realized why Christ’s yoke was easy: Jesus knew he was yoked to and completely one with his heavenly Father. The opposite of a burden, this freed Jesus from the belief of mortal existence. He was completely obedient to God. 

I realized that likewise, I could not be yoked to a material history, troubled or otherwise. The yoke of Christ Jesus could also be my yoke. I really was the cherished, perfect, whole, and complete child of God. Realizing my spiritual oneness with our Father freed me from the belief of a personal, mortal history. I saw that I have no other life than my life in God. 

This mental shift brought a deeper peace and freedom than I had ever known. My mental atmosphere has been lighter ever since. I feel joy that is grounded in spirituality. When I think of the past now, there is no pain or anguish. I’m so grateful to at last be able to not only enjoy friendships but also feel open to a relationship, which amazes me!

My gratitude for this healing is profound. Love has liberated me. I know that this abiding joy and freedom belong to every one of us as God’s beloved children.

Name Withheld