Trust and the test
“Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths” (Proverbs 3:5, 6 ). I’ve heard these words all my life. I’ve read them in the Christian Science Bible Lesson, heard them mentioned during Christian Science testimony meetings, and seen them referred to in articles and testimonies in this magazine many times over the years. They are lovely, encouraging words, meant to bring hope and inspiration, but for many years they were just that to me—words.
Several years ago I decided to go back to school to obtain my master’s degree in early childhood education. As part of the application process, I was required to take the Graduate Record Exam (GRE), which is basically the graduate school equivalent of taking the Scholastic Assessment Test (SAT), which most US colleges require.
It had been nearly a quarter of a century since I’d been in a classroom as a student, so the thought of preparing for this exam was a bit daunting. Frankly, I was not concerned about taking the English portion of the test, but passing the math and logic sections seemed a herculean task to me.
I prepared as thoroughly as I could, asking my son and husband for assistance, watching the cable TV shows sponsored by the local community college that gave help with the exams, and taking the practice exams multiple times. Yet despite all the time I spent on the math and logic sections of the practice tests, I didn’t seem to be understanding many of the questions, let alone knowing the answers. Over the years, I had thoroughly embraced the idea of myself as “not a math person,” and I just didn’t seem able to break free from this limited self-concept.
At one point during the months I spent studying for the GRE, a friend kindly shared with me an inspiring paper that his Sunday School teacher had written about prayerfully preparing to take exams. I read it a few times, finding it comforting, but I was still feeling very unsure about successfully passing all three parts of the test.
On the morning of the exam, I decided to read this paper one more time before leaving for the test site. There was one paragraph that dealt with the importance of making sure that you are not feeling resentful in any way about taking a test. I had quickly skimmed over this section during each previous reading, feeling sure that it was not germane to my situation. However, as I prayerfully read the article this one last time, it occurred to me forcefully that I had, in fact, been feeling quite resentful.
As I went in to take the GRE, I felt confident that Mind, God, was my reliable source of intelligence.
I realized that I’d been wondering why I, who planned to teach kindergarten or preschool, was being required to show that I could do math problems at a much higher level. After all, the most I’d need to know about math for my job would be how to count to ten and identify a circle and a square! Why did I need to prove that I could do geometry and algebra?
Yes indeed, I was feeling resentful! Yet, here I was being cautioned that resentment was certainly counterproductive to successfully passing an exam. So I humbly looked to God. I got quiet and listened to the one Mind. In the Glossary of Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures, Mary Baker Eddy defines Mind in part as “… the one God; not that which is in man, but the divine Principle, or God, of whom man is the full and perfect expression; …” (p. 591 ).
As I quietly listened to God, this is what I heard: “What do you have to prove?” I realized that I didn’t have to prove that I could do advanced math. I had to prove that I could “trust in the Lord with all my heart.” I knew that since I was His “full and perfect expression,” I could trust Him to guide me through this exam.
As I went in to take the GRE, I felt confident that there was only one Mind, and that Mind, God, was my reliable source of intelligence. And as I took the math and logic sections of the test, the most amazing thing happened. With some of the problems, I felt that I truly understood the question and was able to reason through to the right answer. With others, I recalled seeing similar examples on the practice tests, and I remembered the corresponding correct answers. And in several instances, I didn’t have any familiarity with the question, yet I felt led by divine Mind to choose one particular answer. When my grades were calculated (pretty much on the spot, since the exam was taken on a computer) I was so happy to see that I had earned grades on the math and logic sections that were higher than required for my major—and I had done very well on the English portion of the exam, too!
A willingness to “trust in the Lord with all my heart” was crucial to my successful completion of that exam. However, even more important, I had learned that I could trust God to guide me through the coming years as a classroom teacher. Over and over in the years since then, I have turned trustingly to that one Mind to guide and inspire me in my challenging work as a teacher. To give just one example, through trusting in God’s ever-present goodness, I was led to prayerfully confront violent behavior in one of my classes. The insistence that God’s presence precluded any evidence of evil brought an end to the behavior and a marked change in the atmosphere of the classroom (see “A Change of Perspective,” Sentinel, April 8, 2013).
What a joy it is to know that we can fully trust God to guide us through each big and little test we encounter. All we need to do is acknowledge Him as our only Mind and source, and He takes care of the rest.
