Article July 15, 2013 Issue

I found my joy again

Name withheld

This piece was originally published as a "Practice, Practice, Practice" blog on JSH-Online.

Sometimes we are faced with relationship difficulties that challenge us to find out who we are. I had just such an opportunity several years ago. After 15 years of marriage, my husband informed me that he no longer loved me. I hadn’t been aware of his attraction to a younger woman at his workplace. Although it did not appear she had an interest in him, my husband and I decided that he should move out. He rented an apartment to be on his own.

At first I was very angry. I felt deceived, unappreciated, and, worse, unwanted. I struggled with thoughts about not being attractive enough, not being young anymore, not being a good partner or a nice person, and so on. I usually see myself as quite confident and secure, but I felt far removed from that way of thinking at this time in my life. 

Over the course of several weeks, I decided to make some changes. So I made an appointment for a makeover session, lost weight, bought new clothes, and picked out new frames for my glasses. But none of that brought back my joy.   

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