No need to compete
This year I took some classes in German, and one of my fellow students was a young language prodigy, a teenager who was incredibly sharp and had great aptitude for learning. I was filled with jealousy and competitiveness—unusual for me. And I was struggling in the classes—also unusual for me.
Since I didn’t like these feelings, I prayed about them. Thinking about the two stories of creation in the Bible, I reasoned that competitiveness and jealousy ultimately derive from a false, material view of creation. If we accept as true the story of creation in Genesis, chapter 2, we believe man to have a mortal origin and a mortal identity.
As this material view of creation unfolds, mortal man learns to relate himself to others instead of to God, and to measure himself in comparison to others instead of understanding man’s ultimate worth in his sonship with God. In Genesis, chapter 3, for example, Cain is jealous of his brother Abel’s devoutness and favor with God. Filled with envy and rage, he kills Abel.
But this is only a false view of creation. In Genesis, chapter 1, the true record of creation, each of us is whole and complete and exists in relation to God. In reality, we all have infinite, absolute worth, and we can only appreciate and love another’s God-derived individuality. We are secure in our identity and don’t have to prove anything to anyone, including ourselves, since each of us has a niche created by God.
We don’t exist to be the prettiest, the smartest, the richest, or the most successful, but to glorify God. As I prayed to see this more clearly, I also affirmed that God is the source of my intelligence, so it is perfect and eternal and doesn’t fluctuate; it is not a personal, human possession but something I always reflect as a child of God.
Whenever I felt myself overcome by jealousy or competitiveness, I would pray with this idea from Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures by Mary Baker Eddy: “If man is not victorious over the passions, they crush out happiness, health, and manhood. Here Christian Science is the sovereign panacea, giving strength to the weakness of mortal mind,—strength from the immortal and omnipotent Mind,—and lifting humanity above itself into purer desires, even into spiritual power and good-will to man” (p. 407 ). Turning to God as Love, as Spirit, and as my only Mind, I could gain dominion over and silence these venomous thoughts.
The time came for the international proficiency exam, which assesses students’ skills in a language. I prayed for myself and everyone taking the exam. My interest became serving God; I realized that my goals in life need to be spiritual and infinite and selfless.
Feeling and expressing love for my classmates became more important for me than anything else. While I studied for the exam, I stopped worrying about it, stopped caring about not being the smartest. I could graciously accept and appreciate the teenage prodigy’s intelligence.
While preparing, I realized I was making stupid mistakes that could be avoided. I felt more confident as we neared the test date, and the exam was a harmonious experience.
Then we got the results. I didn’t check my test score right away so as not to fixate on it, but classmates started congratulating me. My teacher said I had exceeded her expectations. So I looked, and I was surprised at my high score. I avoided looking at others’ scores so I wouldn’t be tempted to compare, being content with my own outcome. However, a classmate told me I had received the highest score. The teacher also made a point of meeting my father and telling him I was the best student.
In addition to overcoming jealousy, competitiveness, and insecurity about intelligence, I learned a couple of other things from this experience. I almost feel as if I “cheated,” because I didn’t feel that I had really studied hard but instead prayed and trusted God. Before, I had always been driven by anxiety and stress to overstudy, but I’ve learned to study thoroughly and then just pray and be calm. That has made learning, and even exams, fun again.
Another thing I learned is that by putting God first and serving Him, we don’t really miss out on anything. I was fully ready to be a gracious “loser” and be humbled, but I managed to come out on top even without wanting or intending to. Putting God first does indeed yield good results!
Jyoti Raghu
Chennai, Madras, India
