Regret or reveal?
Have you ever wished you could replay a scene in your life that went badly—perhaps relive an experience and this time get it “right”? I know I have felt this way on occasion. Simply wishing, however, to replay a past experience, doesn’t necessarily lead to its being fixed, and can sometimes lead us down a path of prolonged regret.
This feeling of disappointment over something that has happened or been done can keep us mired in the very thought pattern that created the experience in the first place. How do we look beyond regret to reveal a change in thought that can result in healing? I had a small experience recently that gave me some spiritual insight in how to live beyond regret.
Recently my wife and I were asked to dog sit while the dog’s owners were away for several weeks. We were pleased to do so and tended to the dog’s needs, including feeding time and going for walks. The first morning the dog was with us, I awoke and found that the dog had soiled his crate, the bedding, the floor, the rug. It was a mess. Although my wife and I quickly got to the task and cleaned up the mess, I did it with a less than magnanimous disposition. I was grumpy, annoyed, and put out. After the dog and house were cleaned and things were “back to normal,” I found myself regretting how I had handled the situation. I wished I had been more generous, gracious, and pleasant. I remember thinking to myself: “I wish I could replay that scene and do it with greater magnanimity.”
Well, be careful what you ask for. The following morning I awoke to the same scene: same mess to be cleaned up, same potential level of frustration. As I cleaned up, I was less annoyed, kinder to the dog, and more gracious in how I approached the task. I felt, however, that there was still something deeper for me to learn from this experience.
How do we look beyond regret to reveal a change in thought that can result in healing?
Guess what? The next two mornings, I awoke to the same mess to be cleaned, but with fresh spiritual conviction. I was reminded of the movie Groundhog Day, where the main character repeats the same day again and again, reexamining his life and priorities until he “gets it right.” I realized there was no healing power in simply repeating an event over and over until I learned to cope and manage symptoms, just getting it humanly “right.” I was searching for spiritual growth—qualities of thought that would impel a deeper spiritual perspective and healing. The next morning, and each morning after that, there was no mess on the floor, which was certainly welcome. But most of all, I wondered what spiritual lessons had been revealed through this experience? I had a few takeaways:
First, I realized that regret can be either helpful or harmful. It’s harmful if it simply involves rehashing a scene mentally with no change of thought or impetus to grow spiritually. On the other hand, it can be helpful if it awakens one from the dream of mortal, limited existence to reveal infinite possibilities always available to us, as we acknowledge the relationship each has with God as His child.
Mary Baker Eddy, in her book Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures, puts it this way: “The eternal Truth destroys what mortals seem to have learned from error, and man’s real existence as a child of God comes to light. Truth demonstrated is eternal life. Mortal man can never rise from the temporal débris of error, belief in sin, sickness, and death, until he learns that God is the only Life. The belief that life and sensation are in the body should be overcome by the understanding of what constitutes man as the image of God” (pp. 288–289 ).
Second, I realized that within every experience we have, however mundane or apparently insignificant, lies an opportunity for spiritual insight, discovery, and healing. Every moment, every experience of our lives provides unlimited opportunities to live the spiritual qualities we understand are derived from God. And knowing, feeling, and living these spiritual qualities heals anything and everything.
Mrs. Eddy puts it this way: “Every day makes its demands upon us for higher proofs rather than professions of Christian power. These proofs consist solely in the destruction of sin, sickness, and death by the power of Spirit, as Jesus destroyed them. This is an element of progress, and progress is the law of God, whose law demands of us only what we can certainly fulfil” (Science and Health, p. 233 ).
I’m discovering how each and every moment provides an opportunity to translate “things into thoughts” (see Science and Health, p. 269 ), human activity into spiritual purpose. We don’t need to get stuck in a pattern of regret. Instead, we can let difficult experiences transform our way of thinking, allowing us to be more open to the revealing of God’s healing goodness. It’s a grand choice and opportunity.
