IN MISCELLANEOUS WRITINGS, Mary Baker Eddy answered the question "Do you believe in change of heart?" The reply was that she did "believe, and understand—which is more—that there must be a change from human affections, desires, and aims, to the divine standard, 'Be ye therefore perfect;' The human affections need to be changed from self to benevolence and love for God and man; changed to having but one God and loving Him supremely, and helping our brother man" (p. 50).

I experienced something of this "change of heart" when I discovered Christian Science. As a teenager, I was curious about all religions and went to different churches with my friends to see what they were all about, but none seemed to have answers to my questions. I've always loved to read, and one day I finished reading The Big Fisherman by Lloyd C. Douglas, a book about the Apostle Peter. It was as if a bright light were turned on and I saw what the Christ was for the first time. Jesus was not God, as I had been taught in the Baptist Sunday School, but exemplified the Christ as the Son of God.

A few months later, after my first semester of college, where I had been studying to be a lab pathologist, I returned home to help support my mother and stepfather. There, one of my fellow employees introduced me to her brother, who was a Christian Scientist. I told my mother about him, and she told me she had been studying Christian Science for some time as well. The door had been opened. I began attending church with this young man, and within about six months we were married. When I attended my first Christian Science lecture, I saw my piano teacher of ten years and discovered she was a Christian Scientist as well.

It was wonderful to see that this religion had been on its way into my life all those years. It taught me to love, gave me a sense of self-worth, and healed me in so many countless ways. My life was completely changed. The first healings included sinus trouble, indigestion, migraine headaches, and weak ankles. I didn't fully understand at the time how these healings came about, but later I realized it was because of my new understanding of God as my Father-Mother, Christ Jesus as His beloved son, and the Christ as within us. God as Father meant a great deal to me, since my dad had deserted our family when I was seven and I missed that relationship. But by understanding God as my Father, I saw I had never been without Him, and was always protected, loved, and provided for in every way.

After I had been studying Christian Science for a number of years, I had another profound period of change and growth that shifted the way I think about the Christian Science publications. I lived in San Diego, California, and found that walking on the beach helped me solve many problems. One day while enjoying the blue sky, the sound of the waves washing ashore, the soft, cool breezes, and the seagulls along my path, I made a decision to study creative writing. I had never considered this direction before, and I felt certain that this was God guiding me.

I took writing courses at a community college and began writing mystery novels, as they have always served my sense of justice and law. Eventually I had five mysteries published, as well as a few articles in the Sentinel and on the website spirituality.com. But about four years ago, I found myself at a stand still while working on another mystery. Weeks went by without writing.

One day, Sentinel Radio called and interviewed me for a broadcast. When the program aired, I found a definite change taking place in my thoughts about writing. Fiction writing was replaced by a desire to contribute to the Christian Science movement. I was learning that "the effect of this Science is to stir the human mind to a change of base, on which it may yield to the harmony of the divine Mind" (Science and Health, p. 162).

What was at the heart of my change? The phrase "nauseous fiction" on page 195 of Science and Health had caught my attention for many years, and I knew I wanted my writing to be more than that. My mysteries were based on the concept of justice, but I wanted my writing to uplift and inspire, and to focus on divine justice and on God as Principle. I didn't seek this change; it was God leading me in a more meaningful direction.

Writing about the wonderful healings I've had through the years is a way to share God's loving care with others. Contributing to the Christian Science movement fulfills my dream of writing. css