Article June 21, 2010 Issue

Love heals resentment

When the other guy gets the girl.

BY JEFF JOHNSTONE

AS A CHRISTIAN SCIENCE Sunday School student back in the late '80s, I became close friends with one of my peers and later developed a special romantic interest in her. While she attended an out-of-state college, we wrote each other letters and spoke often on the phone. When she would come home for summers and winter breaks, we had the opportunity to date regularly. I really liked this girl—she was smart, funny, enthusiastic, pure, and cute. Though I'd dated other girls before, the love I felt for her was unmatched.

As we continued to date over nearly 16 months, it gradually became apparent that she did not feel as strongly for me as I did for her. But because my love for her was so deep, I continued seeing her. During this time, she had just started her senior year of college, and I remember thinking, "Once she finishes school, I won't have any more potential boyfriend competition." But while she was finishing her last academic quarter, she called to inform me she'd met someone else.

I remember feeling completely devastated, lost, and depressed. I earnestly turned to God for comfort, but all I could think was that the love of my life was gone. She ended up marrying that man, and I initially felt quite a bit of ill will toward him.