IT'S EASY TO GROW UP thinking you are a complete klutz. I mean, how are you supposed to feel as a kid when you're barely smart enough to stay in college, aren't athletic enough to make the football team, and are so awkward it seems as if nobody wants to be your friend?

In my youth, this seemed to be my situation. And there always seemed to be those naturally gifted people around who managed to do it all with apparent ease. Such as the guy I attended college with. He was not only good-looking, on several school sports teams, attending school on a scholarship, held in great esteem by his friends, but he was also an accomplished musician. And, dare I say it, he wrote a major pop hit in later life.

I was really bewildered by this seemingly unequal distribution of talents. I even wondered if it was some kind of curse on me in particular.

But after leaving college, I was introduced to Christian Science and attended First Church of Christ, Scientist, in London. What I heard during my early visits—and especially during the testimony meetings—convinced me that the answer to my predicament lay in Christian Science. Since healing was the essential message I was hearing, it was clear to me that a study of Christian Science would heal the belief that I had been shortchanged in the talent area.

STUDY BROUGHT GENERAL IMPROVEMENT

I set to work to get better understanding of myself as God's image and likeness; of myself as reflecting those divine qualities of intelligence, usefulness, and love. This study consisted of reading Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures by Mary Baker Eddy, attending church regularly, and studying the Bible Lesson that is set out in the Christian Science Quarterly.

Despite my diligent study, I didn't get a good enough grasp of the principles involved so I could immediately overcome the challenges I faced. But an improvement in my circumstances was taking place. I couldn't put my finger on the reasons, as I was still in comparative ignorance of how spirituality was transforming me. But my ignorance didn't matter! As I continued to study and pray, the change for the better went on.

As Mrs. Eddy pointed out in Science and Health, "The sick know nothing of the mental process by which they are depleted, and next to nothing of the metaphysical method by which they can be healed" (p. 416). My thought was becoming more spiritual, more God-governed, whether I fully understood and appreciated it or not.

Within five years of leaving college, I had managed to obtain a professional qualification as an accountant, something I had not considered possible a few years earlier. Four years after that, I sat an entrance exam to attend one of Europe's most prestigious business schools, was accepted into the program, and obtained my master's degree in business administration.

Through church attendance, I had developed a circle of loving and caring friends who encouraged me in everything I attempted. Boy, had things changed! What made the difference?

GOD'S LOVE WAS EVIDENCED

More than anything, Christian Science showed me that God loved me. He loved me because I was His creation, and it was impossible that God would not love that which He created. I loved that logic, and it was evidenced in the most wonderful of ways.

I remember once missing a connection with a sleeper train in Dusseldorf, Germany, that would have carried me to my home in Switzerland. It was apparently the last such train for the night, and I stood in the station praying to know what to do.

After a few moments of silent reflection, I realized that I was standing in front of a kiosk maintained by the Church of Christ, Scientist, in that city. That made me feel so loved—as if I had friends there who were looking after me!

With a wonderful sense of expectancy, I went to the ticket office. The agent on duty told me that if I took a train to Cologne, I might be able to find another train to Switzerland. Imagine my joy when, after I'd arrived in Cologne, I found that the night sleeper I should have boarded in Düsseldorf was pulling into the station just ten minutes later. The sleeping car attendant was more than a little curious as to why I was joining the train in the wrong place.

LOVE CONQUERS ALL

This conviction of being loved destroyed my belief that my talents could be limited. I had learned enough about loving myself so I could see that holding a limited view of myself would be denigrating God's creation.

Even though I had held that mistaken image so long—believing I was unintelligent, ungifted, and unworthy of the friendship of others—I was able to give it up joyfully. And the fruit of abandoning that viewpoint was better intellect, greater athletic skill, and terrific friendships.

But I did have to learn that I had particular talents of my own to cherish, rather than hacking away at those things I was no good at. I gave up trying to play golf (for which I had no talent) and discovered the joy of cycling and skiing, instead.

My career took me into an area of business management in the arts, where I had a particular affinity for clients. And I developed great friendships with people who shared my consecrated love for God, even though many of them were not of the Christian faith. This transformation of my life may not have happened overnight, but the gradual spiritual progression—which is ongoing—has been wonderful to experience.

BREAKING THE CURSE

What was so helpful to me in this whole journey was that the Bible, as illumined by Christian Science, was giving me a new view of myself. The mortal view had been trying to drag me into a life of hopelessness and despair. A life where I would accept limitation as my own personal curse.

But the divine view Christian Science unfolds showed me I did not need to accept the feedback of either my initial academic results or of my early social interactions. Divine Science shows us there is so much more to man than good grades and popularity. Unfortunately, in my younger years this seemed to be the sum total of human worth—and I thought I didn't have it.

What changed? Christian Science gave me a different perspective. Through my study, I understood that it was not just wrong, but impossible for me to feel cursed by these apparent impediments. I saw that I was never really going to rise higher in my understanding of God as long as I clung to what I perceived as the curse of my present circumstances. Since such a state of mind could only be the outcome of evil, I determinedly turned away from it for the higher and brighter views that came from the only true authority, God.

More than anything, as I got over feeling cursed by how things appeared to be, I experienced great liberation. Understanding myself to be God's likeness left no room for anything blameworthy or incompetent to attach itself to me.

God has provided the standard of the true man, and I have only to adhere to it to receive the blessings of what I truly am as God's wholly spiritual creation. Constant prayer and the practice of Christian Science have been the means for me to see that ever more clearly. css

This article first appeared on www.spirituality.com.