RELATIONSHIPS August 29, 2005 Issue

BUILT ON LOVE

BRIAN CLENDENEN

MY DAD AND I have a wonderful relationship. When I was a little boy, it was pretty much hero worship on my part. My mom says that when he would come home from work and walk up the sidewalk, I (who had been nowhere in sight all day) would magically appear and jump down the front steps to hurl myself at him.

However, when I passed my middle teens, something happened. My dad and I no longer got along. This was partly because of an illness that affected his nerves (this gave him a very short fuse, and I always seemed to set him off) and partly because it was the '60s and we were on opposite sides of all my causes and politics.

I became an adult and all the politics and causes were resolved, but we were still estranged. Then he had a series of heart attacks, and I decided I'd better think over this situation between us. I did not want him to pass on without knowing how much I loved him.