Depression and suicide attempt healed

I first started wrestling with bouts of depression as a teenager. It continued, off and on, for many years. I never sought treatment, because I thought it was just normal for me to be sometimes up, but also to experience terrible lows.

One night about seven years ago, I hit rock bottom. I was convinced that my husband and children, whom I love very much, would be better off without me. I knew I was being a terrible role model for my kids—depressed, joyless, unhappy. In my twisted thinking, I thought it would be better for them to grow up without any mother rather than with me. Although my husband and I always had faith in God, for 20 years I had been battling these "dark" periods when I just didn't seem able to feel God's love for me.

War and a call to prayer
October 14, 2002

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