Article August 13, 2001 Issue

My jean jacket was a symbol of defiance

There's more than one way to get people to change their behavior.

By Gwendolyn Joy Forest

When I was in high school, I had a coat that I'm sure many people would have liked me to retire to a closet. But the coat—a tattered jean jacket with a button that said "Question Authority"—was not just a coat. It was a statement about who I was.

Unfortunately, that message was interpreted by some people to be a warning that I was trouble. Yes, I did dress differently, and, no, I didn't always do what everyone expected me to do. But deep down I knew I was a good person. At least, deep down, I wanted to be. In my own quirky way, I had standards and morals. What I rebelled against were rules—and I did break quite a few over a period of years.

I felt at times that I was living up to other people's expectation of me to mess up. Even when I wanted to change, I felt defeated. I found that even after doing ten right things, if I did one wrong thing, people would say, "See, I told you, that's how she is." It made me feel like giving up and just being who they thought I was. Sometimes I'd get angry and think, "If I'm going to be blamed for things anyway, I might as well do them."

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