Article February 4, 1991 Issue

When something is missing

You can't really take a stand when you're not sure why you're taking it. Actually, figuring out where you stand involves figuring out who you are.

Heidi Johnson

Two years ago, if I had been questioned about my teetotalism, the last thing I would have answered was "I have religious reasons." This was because, first, I didn't particularly want to have to explain Christian Science. And, second, I'm often with people at university who regard religion as the most un-cool thing in existence.

But lately I've done quite a bit of thinking on the subject, and my standpoint in terms of acknowledging why I make my decisions is more basic and candid. I've begun to understand better a statement Mary Baker Eddy makes in Science and Health when she is describing man's spiritual individuality in God's likeness: "This scientific sense of being, forsaking matter for Spirit, by no means suggests man's absorption into Deity and the loss of his identity, but confers upon man enlarged individuality, a wider sphere of thought and action, a more expansive love, a higher and more permanent peace."

I didn't drink at school (boarding school or high school), because I followed my parents' example. Sometimes, though, I felt isolated—different—from my friends. When I got challenged to drink, I'd say: "I don't like the taste" or "Alcohol costs too much" or "I like to be in control of myself."

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