Testimony of Healing February 1, 1982 Issue

With the birth of our first child, I faced the difficult decision of...

SARAH WILSON SONKE

With the birth of our first child, I faced the difficult decision of continuing my employment or staying home to care for our daughter. I had thoroughly enjoyed my work in data-processing management, and my first inclination was to continue with it, as I felt more confident in handling a full-time job than in coping with a full-time child. However, I also felt pulled by a new maternal sensitivity and a growing awareness of responsibility for our daughter's early upbringing.

While on a leave of absence from work I prayed daily for several weeks to know what to do. Then one day I read this passage in Science and Health by Mrs. Eddy (p. 454): "Right motives give pinions to thought, and strength and freedom to speech and action." From this I reasoned that the first step was to sort out my motives. I listed on paper my motives for staying home and for returning to work and then began to separate the good ones from those that were based on fear or selfishness. I saw that egotism, jealousy, and hidden fears about our finances needed to be eliminated, along with a condescending attitude toward being a full-time homemaker. I felt encouraged after reading the following statement in Science and Health (p. 446): "A wrong motive involves defeat. In the Science of Mind-healing, it is imperative to be honest, for victory rests on the side of immutable right." I soon saw that it was right for me to stay home. I knew that in being obedient to this guidance our whole family— including me—would be blessed.

Of the new challenges I confronted, two were particularly difficult to overcome. I welcomed our daughter's nap time, as it afforded me a period free of interruptions. However, what started as a time for study soon became my nap time too! There were days when I would close my eyes for what I thought was a few minutes only to wake up three hours later. This unnecessary sleep became a habit and not only wasted time but also dulled thinking.

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