The first time I earnestly turned to Christian Science...

The first time I earnestly turned to Christian Science for help was when my marriage had foundered and my husband and I had agreed to separate. We had been married only three years. I loved him and was a reluctant partner to the separation. Soon after parting, I learned that I was pregnant with our first child. My fear was great; the heartache seemed overwhelming. This is when, on loving counsel from my mother, I sought the help of a Christian Science practitioner.

I came away from my first meeting with the practitioner feeling uncertain, and even a little antagonistic, about the direction he had pointed. He had told me that my true happiness had its source in God and could never be dependent on another human being. This was hard to accept, for I was sure that my happiness depended on being with my husband, and I desperately wanted him back. The practitioner asked me to study carefully a particular citation from Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures by Mary Baker Eddy. A part of it reads (p. 57): "The wintry blasts of earth may uproot the flowers of affection, and scatter them to the winds; but this severance of fleshly ties serves to unite thought more closely to God, for Love supports the struggling heart until it ceases to sigh over the world and begins to unfold its wings for heaven."

Inwardly I rebelled at accepting this truth, for I did not want a "severance of fleshly ties," and I did not want my affection uprooted and scattered to the winds. But I was obedient to the spirit of the study, and worked to align my thought to a deeper understanding of Mrs. Eddy's words and to be responsive to the practitioner's support. I also began to study the Bible Lesson in the Christian Science Quarterly with greater diligence than ever before.

October 1, 1979

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