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Calling on God
As a university student, I often have challenging days. Sometimes I need to learn how to communicate respectfully with a roommate, or work through academic anxiety, or, in a larger sense, find my niche.
When I’m confronted with these situations, I sometimes feel utterly hopeless and stuck in the dark. Sometimes I’ve reacted fearfully and emotionally. I know it would be helpful to pray and acknowledge God as the source of happiness, but it can feel easy to ignore this urging and instead automatically pick up my cell phone and call my mom to vent. Don’t get me wrong! Moms are amazing at listening to and comforting their kids. But when I dial my mother’s number and simply complain to her, I feel worse than before.
A few months ago, I realized how dissatisfied I felt when I’d make these calls. Whenever I complained to my mom on the phone for an hour, it felt like I was dragging her down into the dark as well. She was trying to help me. But at the end of the phone call, when she was not giving me the perfect answers I was looking for, I wasn’t expressing gratitude. I was only repeating the same cycle of flustered nonsense in her ear.
At one point, I asked myself, “Does this way of reacting do any good to our relationship?” The idea came that I needed to strive to recognize God as the true Father-Mother of both my mom and me. This was not something that I necessarily wanted to discipline myself to do. However, I knew, at the bottom of my heart, that it was the right thing for me to practice. God wanted me to succeed. God was caring for my relationship with my mom. God was loving both of us and was voicing spiritual ideas to both of us.
I began to put this insight into action. Each time I felt a surge of emotions, I would first pick up either the Christian Science Hymnal or Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures, by Mary Baker Eddy, and pray with the ideas I was reading. Doing so allowed me to feel the gentle presence of my heavenly Father-Mother right there, right then. I better understood how the same heavenly Father-Mother was also enveloping my mom with loving arms right where she was. And often, I was able to listen patiently to God’s messages greeting me with just the right answer that would lead me in the right direction.
One day, as I was riding on the train and feeling encompassed by God’s gentle presence and faithful care, I mentally heard this spiritual intuition loud and clear: “Apply to the dorm with international students next year.”
This was followed by a few doubts. I was already signed up to live in an off-campus apartment. I had found this apartment largely because of the helpful actions my mom had taken. I did not want to disappoint her by changing the plan and possibly causing problems.
“What if I can’t sublet the apartment?” I worried.
“What if Mom questions why I am applying to live in this dorm?”
“Is it silly to apply if I am applying this late?”
“Just apply,” I heard again in a loving way.
So, I did apply … without calling up my mom. I knew this was my chance to be patient, call on God, listen to His voice, and not hang up on Him before I felt at peace. I loved God. I loved this right idea inspired so clearly by Him.
A few weeks later, I received an acceptance to live in the international dorm, and I knew exactly what to do. I then called my mom and told her I was thinking about living in the international dorm. She agreed that divine Love was directing me to my right place. Not only did we find someone to sublet the apartment, but, of more importance, God had given me the strength to obey gracefully the command to honor my divine Parent’s harmonious plan. God is continuously showing me how I can patiently listen to, communicate effectively with, and love my mom.
—Margaret Furr, Charlottesville, Virginia, US