A healing—and a way forward
Originally appeared online in the teen series Your Healings - August 8, 2023
I was attending a college that hadn’t been my first choice. Although I tried to keep my spirits up about this new experience, I was unhappy. I was a freshman on the basketball team and my schedule consisted of waking up at 4 a.m. for practice, going to classes, practicing basketball individually, and staying on top of homework. This seemingly never-ending cycle repeated for the first three weeks of my freshman year.
I felt depressed, empty, and like something was missing in my life. Questions ran through my mind such as, “Is this really where God wants me to be?” and, “Do I have to stay here even though I’m not happy?”
Things seemed to get worse after one early morning practice. I felt fatigued and wanted to relax at home before my afternoon class. Walking back to my car, I was unaware of an uneven portion of the sidewalk. My foot caught on the concrete and I fell hard on the rough ground.
Things seemed to get worse after one early morning practice.
I called for medical help since I couldn’t stand. After several X-rays, a doctor told me I had a small fracture in my left leg. I was told not to walk or stand for at least four weeks to allow it to heal.
When I returned home with crutches, I was distraught. I couldn’t understand why God had allowed this to happen. Why hadn’t He caught me, or prevented me from falling?
I was still a relatively new student of Christian Science, and had been learning a much more healing way to think of God in prayer. Now I felt the urge to turn to God in this way, which was something I hadn’t done since I’d started the semester.
As I prayed, I realized that I’d allowed myself to get so caught up in my daily commitments that I hadn’t spent much time thinking about God or strengthening that relationship. I realized that’s why I’d felt so empty and unfulfilled, and I knew that only turning to God would help me address the way I’d been feeling.
My prayers led me to a relevant Bible passage. It says: “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths” (Proverbs 3:5, 6).
That night, in response to this line from the Bible, I said, “God, I know I haven’t been trusting in You and that I’ve been leaning on my own understanding. I can’t do this on my own. I need You. I only want Your will to be done.”
The next day, I called a friend of mine who is also a Christian Scientist. I told her what had happened and she shared a healing she’d experienced that was similar. What stood out the most to me from what she shared was that she’d never fallen out of God’s care because God is ever-present Love. It struck me that it didn’t matter what had appeared to happen; the truth of God’s presence was more real to her than anything else.
I was able to go back to playing basketball right away, but there was more to this healing than that.
I started to ponder that idea as she also shared a helpful passage from Mary Baker Eddy. It says: “Remember, thou canst be brought into no condition, be it ever so severe, where Love has not been before thee and where its tender lesson is not awaiting thee. Therefore despair not nor murmur, for that which seeketh to save, to heal, and to deliver, will guide thee, if thou seekest this guidance” (The First Church of Christ, Scientist, and Miscellany, pp. 149–150). I thanked my friend for her story and loving support and hung up the phone.
Our conversation inspired me to keep praying and listening for God’s voice. As I did, I heard a loving, confident voice in my thoughts that said, “Get out of bed and stand.” I knew this was from God because it wasn’t something I would have come up with, and I also felt God’s love and presence with me as these words came to mind. I followed the instruction and was soon standing up on both legs and remaining balanced without any pain.
Then I heard God’s voice in my thoughts again: “Now, walk around your room.” With one foot in front of the other, I took small steps which turned into larger ones, and I still didn’t feel any pain. I fell to my knees and cried tears of joy because I knew I’d been healed. I no longer needed my crutches and had no more pain from this injury. I was able to go back to playing basketball right away, but there was more to this healing than that.
After this experience, I didn’t feel any anxiety about my future. I chose to withdraw from the college I’d been attending and am now studying at a college for Christian Scientists that has best suited my academic studies and has fulfilled my life in so many ways.
Looking back on that day, I know now that I never truly fell out of God’s care.