Am I a fraud?
There I was, on a date with a guy I liked, and I was completely tongue-tied. I couldn’t think of anything to say, and my answers to his questions were short and mumbled. He took me home, and I never heard from him again.
This experience was painful—but it also wasn’t unique. As a teen and young adult, I occasionally struggled with low self-esteem, which I considered to be a family trait. I’d seen relatives suffer from the same inability to express themselves and the shame that came with it. And it left me feeling unworthy, like sooner or later I would be discovered as a fraud. I was afraid others would find out that maybe I really didn’t have anything to say!
I developed some helpful defense mechanisms, like coming late to events and leaving early so I wouldn’t have to talk to anyone. That may have prevented awkward conversations, but it didn’t solve the problem. I didn’t look very hard for any other solution, though, because I thought low self-esteem was just something I had to live with.
Enjoy 1 free Sentinel article or audio program each month, including content from 1898 to today.
