A Valentine wish

As Valentine’s Day approaches, thoughts of love and romance are prevalent. This can be a good thing if one is in love, but what if one is alone and longing for companionship?

Years ago I remember sitting alone on Valentine’s Day, feeling depressed and lonely. I had just broken up with a boyfriend. All my friends were now married, and I wondered what was wrong with me. I had had some wonderful relationships, but not the lifelong partnership I longed for.

I sat on my couch and cried. Finally I turned to God out of desperation. “What is love?” I asked. My answer was that God is Love. Not just that He is a loving God, but that He is Love—the source of all love. 

Since I knew that each of us has a permanent relationship to God as His spiritual child, I reasoned that I could not help but be loved. I decided at that point that I would be grateful for any bit of love that came my way, no matter how or from whom it came. 

Since each of us has a permanent relationship to God as His spiritual child, I could not help but be loved. 

I was house-sitting for my parents at the time and had all the symptoms of the flu. I went out into their yard and sat on a wall and asked God to please let me know I was loved and not alone. Just then a cat appeared and started rubbing against my legs. I pushed it away, as I did not want to play. Undeterred, it jumped up into my lap and started licking my face. Suddenly this simple feline sign of affection made me laugh; it made me realize I was being loved. I was being loved by God—I only had to see it—and that was the end of the depression and the flu symptoms.

I continued praying to understand love—to understand more of God, who is Love, and my unbroken relationship to Him. Mary Baker Eddy writes in No and Yes, “True prayer is not asking God for love; it is learning to love, and to include all mankind in one affection” (p. 39 ). I realized that feeling loved is in knowing your completeness, and in giving unselfishly. Love comes to us in many forms, but it all comes from God. 

The longing left me, and I felt complete and happy. I told my mom I was not interested in marriage any longer—I had a good job, wonderful friends, a great education, and I was able to travel extensively around the world. I simply prayed for God to show me how to love more. That became my daily prayer. I wanted to give, and no longer was looking for someone to make me feel complete.

Several months later my parents, with whom I had not traveled in years, asked me to go on an ocean cruise with them. I went, and it was fun being with them. I also brought along a stack of books and spent a lot of time reading.

One night my dad came back from a shore excursion marlin fishing. He told me there was a man on the boat who had missed his family’s early seating for dinner, and since we had a later seating and an empty place at our table, Dad had invited him to join us for dinner. 

Then there was a power failure on the ship, so we ate by candlelight. Afterward, since there was no air conditioning, we all went out on the deck. As this man and I talked, we found that we were reading the same book. My parents left at some point, but my new friend and I kept talking. We spent the night out on the deck, talking and looking at the beautiful moonlight. 

At the end of the cruise a day or two later, he kissed me goodbye, and I knew I loved him. But I could hardly believe what had happened. Outside of TV, how often do people meet that special someone on a cruise ship? 

I simply prayed for God to show me how to love more. That became my daily prayer. 

We lived only fifty miles apart, so we were able to continue seeing each other, and our relationship was very comfortable. When my friend proposed marriage to me, it was so clear that this was right for us, and I accepted. And, yes, we did live happily ever after. Our marriage blessed us abundantly and allowed us both to develop in wonderfully satisfying ways. It broadened our sense of love and family and promoted our spiritual growth. Nevertheless, over our thirty years of marriage, it was always clear to us that our sense of completeness came from our relationship to God. 

Mrs. Eddy writes in Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures, “Desire is prayer; and no loss can occur from trusting God with our desires, that they may be moulded and exalted before they take form in words and in deeds” (p. 1 ). God did indeed fulfill my Valentine wish, but He molded my desires first. My cup, and my heart, runneth over!