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Judging—or genuinely caring for others?
One of my favorite TV shows is Keeping Up Appearances, a British comedy produced in the early 1990s. The star of the show is Hyacinth Bucket, pronounced “bouquet,” a determined, snobbish middle-class woman who desperately attempts to climb the social ladder despite her middle-class underpinnings. In her mission to appear cultured and civilize the socially “less fortunate,” she makes critical judgments of others and attempts to control their behavior.
The TV show is a comedic gem because it’s obvious to viewers that Hyacinth doesn’t realize that her obsession leads to unpleasant outcomes and prevents her from enjoying the good family and friends surrounding her.
Opportunities for improvement in our own lives may not be so apparent and sometimes go unrecognized. There was a time in my life when I believed my ideas were superior to the ideas of others. For example, I felt that the rock music I liked was better than other music because of its complex riffs (sequence of melodies within melodies) and patterns. It was true that the bands I followed were internationally known for their amazing skills. But I believed all other music was of a lower quality, and therefore anyone who listened to it needed help to understand what makes music good. It seems ridiculous to me now, but I even tried to convince friends to change their taste in music to mine.
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