Decisions made easier

It was the middle of the night, and I was wrestling with a decision I needed to make the next day. My mother was going through a difficult time and I wanted to visit her—to cheer her up and take her grocery shopping. But if I did that, I would be leaving behind work that needed to be done at home. Both were important, but it wasn’t clear to me which was the best choice.

Whenever I need help with small things or large, I turn to God and then I listen. This time the answer wasn’t “Go to your mom’s” or “Stay home and get your stuff done.” What I heard was “What would you love to do?”

I thought, “I’d love to go to my mom’s, but I am afraid that if I do, something I’ve left undone here will turn into a more serious problem.” Then I recognized that love was the motive in one case and fear was the motive in the other. I knew from past experience that allowing fear to motivate my actions never turned out well. Following divine Love’s lead was always better.

A statement in Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures by Mary Baker Eddy has really helped me with decisions. “Right motives give pinions to thought, and strength and freedom to speech and action.” One definition of pinions is wings. I like the idea of my thoughts being given wings so they can soar.

It became clear to me that what I should do that day was to go to my mom’s, and I did. It turned out to be a blessing in so many ways. Since the drive was an hour each way, I had two full hours of quiet time to pray and listen to inspirational music.

The visit with my mom was marked by mutual caring and sharing. We laughed a lot and we talked together about the goodness of God and how grateful we were to Him for everything. It was a joyous time. A favorite Bible verse of mine captures the essence of our visit, “For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.”

When I got home, I found that I was able to complete what I had left to do in the morning, without any sense of stress. A couple of items “took care of themselves,” one or two lost the sense of urgency they’d had that morning, and the rest just flowed. I really felt helped, cared for, and loved by God.

I was so grateful for the answer from God that told me to ask myself, “What would I love to do?”

The very next week I had the same decision to make. I could have just followed the previous week’s route and gone to visit, but I didn’t. I remembered the blessings received the previous week when I discerned my motives. So again I asked myself, “What do I love? And what do I fear?”

I’ll mention here that the answers to these two simple questions are not always so obvious. In this case, I thought about it for a bit and then realized that I was afraid that if I didn’t go to my mom’s, she’d think I’m not a good daughter. At the same time, I love taking care of my home and my family. I also think it’s important to express gratitude to those who provide services and products to me by paying my bills on time.

There I had it. This time love was the motive for me to stay home. I counted on the strength and freedom of speech and action that Mrs. Eddy wrote about when I picked up the phone to call my mom.

Now, here’s the cool part. God is always working out His purpose and that purpose blesses not only one, but all. Besides telling my mom why I felt I couldn’t come to see her that week, I also let her know that I loved her. She brightened up noticeably. The tone in her voice became more animated and cheerful. Mom assured me that she was fine and encouraged me to stay home and do what I needed to do. She sounded delighted to help me in this way. And we each had a glorious day.

I realized that in God’s infinite wisdom, He made a way for both my mother and me to be aware of the infinite nature of His Love. We could each “walk with Love” and give of our “heart’s rich overflow.”

Those ideas come from a hymn I love. The last stanza reads:

Come, walk with Love along the way,

Let childlike trust be yours today;

Uplift your thought, with courage go,

Give of your heart’s rich overflow,

And peace shall crown your joy-filled day.

Come, walk with Love along the way.

(Minnie M. H. Ayers, The Christian Science Hymnal, No. 139 )

Now whenever I’m being pulled in two different directions, I pray for God’s guidance. I also use the sentence “I would love to … but I’m afraid that …” to identify my real motives. I’ve found love to be a trusted motive. And right motives have given wings to my thought, and strength and freedom to my speech and actions.

Motivated by love:

Science and Health
454:19-21
454:18-19  
206:15

King James Bible
Matt. 18:20
Rom. 8:28