I’d asked a friend to trim the split ends from my waist-length hair. She ended up cutting off four inches. I came unglued—yes, there were tears! When I became coherent again, I recognized that my strong reaction was because I identified myself with the length of my hair. Losing four inches was a threat to the “me” I thought I was.
Huge learning curve here. I began to see that my identity wasn’t about my hair, how my jeans looked on me, my grades, the friends I hung out with. My true identity is as a child of God.
What does that mean? This slightly modified Bible passage helped me get clarity: You are the daughter of the King and are all glorious within and without (see Psalms 45:13). I saw that I was created by God and therefore was loved and worthy because of my spiritual identity. This became my “go to” fact every time I needed to remember what defined me: God—not my hair.
Gradually, my thought about my identity shifted and I was free. I even cut my hair short!