In the days after being elected to lead church services as the First Reader for the Christian Science Society I attend, I struggled with what this meant for me. I had been the pianist for many years, and becoming First Reader meant giving up this cherished role. I was not at peace with this change, and within a week I began to deal with various issues on the left side of my neck and head, including painful sores and the loss of hearing in my left ear. The physical picture was alarming. 

Since I have relied on Christian Science treatment for healing since I was a child, I knew I could rely on prayer, and I began my metaphysical work by listening to God and the truth He communicates. I also knew I first had to conquer the fear. I affirmed my perfection as God’s spiritual idea and declared, “I will not fear what flesh can do unto me” (Psalms 56:4).

I found myself oscillating back and forth from the spiritual affirmation to the material prognosis, and so I decided to call a Christian Science practitioner for help. I related the situation to the practitioner and explained how I felt the symptoms were the result of my uneasiness about becoming First Reader. Because this seemed to be the underlying error, the practitioner lovingly admonished me not to associate error, such as disease, with a certain time, location, or event, thus attributing to error causative power, since, in reality, there is no cause or substance but God. It was clear to me that the unreality of any supposed cause other than God could be proved. 

Mary Baker Eddy writes in Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures: “Like the great Exemplar, the healer should speak to disease as one having authority over it, leaving Soul to master the false evidences of the corporeal senses and to assert its claims over mortality and disease” (p. 395). I knew that I could “speak to disease as one having authority over it.” 

When I called back several hours later, I sheepishly reported that there had been no apparent progress. The practitioner responded by asking: “Are you looking to the mortal body for proof of progress, rather than an increased awareness of your perfect relation to God as His spiritual reflection?” I thought deeply about that and continued studying and praying.

The next day I gained a new insight for eradicating fear from a “Daily Lift” (produced by The First Church of Christ, Scientist). “Daily Lift” podcasts are short, uplifting audio segments. In this particular one, the speaker talked about First John 4:18, “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear,” and shared how the verse isn’t suggesting that fear is a real thing that divine Love takes away. Instead, the verse is affirming that there is no fear because divine Love is All—omnipotent and omnipresent—and that the understanding of Love’s allness removes any suggestion that fear can exist. I eagerly called the practitioner to share my new understanding.

My thought was gradually being lifted above the material conditions, and I felt a sense of peace as I trusted God to bring about the healing. The apex of this experience was reached when I read this awakening and enlightening statement on page 242 of Science and Health: “In patient obedience to a patient God, let us labor to dissolve with the universal solvent of Love the adamant of error,—self-will, self-justification, and self-love,—which wars against spirituality and is the law of sin and death.” 

As I relinquished the strong, self-justified attachment I felt to the role of pianist and decided to serve God unselfishly, the dilemmas I felt about being First Reader were resolved and I gained my peace. The result was not only a transformation of my thought, but also the healing of all the physical symptoms, for which I am most grateful.

That was three years ago, and my term as First Reader has concluded. The opportunities for disciplined prayer, precipitated by serving in this capacity, brought increased gratitude for Christian Science and its blessings of charity and healing. My heart overflows with God’s goodness.

Kathrine Rockne-Truxall
Reedville, Virginia, US