Article July 22, 2013 Issue

My birthday present: forgiveness

Kathryn Jones Dunton

It was my special day, and I was feeling joy-filled and grateful as I received a congratulatory call from a friend. Quickly, however, the tenor of the conversation became negative and critical. All the joy I had been feeling evaporated. Instead of feeling loved by my friend, I felt maligned and judged, and when we hung up I felt sad and empty. “My birthday is ruined!” I thought as I fixated on the meanness.

Then this angel message came: “Your birthday doesn’t have to be ruined. You may choose how you respond: mortal mind rumination or Christly forgiveness.” 

I had been down the rumination path many times before, and I knew where it led—to unhappiness and futility. As a child, before I’d become a student of Christian Science, I had developed the habit of frequently feeling hurt by the words and actions of others. I had thought my well-being and value were a reflection of others’ opinions, so if someone expressed disapproval or unkindness, I felt hurt and angry. I blamed others for my unhappiness. I didn’t understand then that I am responsible for my thoughts and reactions. As the article “Taking Offense,” published in Miscellaneous Writings 1883–1896, observes: “The mental arrow shot from another’s bow is practically harmless, unless our own thought barbs it” (pp. 223–224). Elsewhere in the same book, Mary Baker Eddy points out: “Mental darkness is senseless error, neither intelligence nor power, and its victim is responsible for its supposititious presence” (p. 355).