Article June 11, 2001 Issue

Looking for the right one?

By Jonathan Wells

I was living in upstate New York. I had managed to get through undergraduate school and law school, and had a real estate development job in Rochester. But I wasn't meeting a lot of women. So I got to thinking about this. And when an opportunity came up to move to New York City, it looked like a great professional opportunity to work in banking, and I also thought, "What a great town to meet women!"

So I followed up on that, and I moved to New York City. And you know what? It worked. I met all kinds of women and also made a lot of new friends, both men and women. But I was interested in getting married and starting a family and doing those sorts of things. And so while I enjoyed making all these friends, there was almost an unconscious sense of pressure about the whole thing. I was interested in finding the right one. And as the months and years went by, it actually got to be frustrating. Some of the women, I was very interested in, but they weren't particularly interested in me. Others had some interest in me, but I didn't really feel like continuing things with them. And some of them I'd get to know, but they'd leave town. So the whole thing just wasn't working.

At the same time, my job at the bank was very challenging. And I was wondering whether this was where I should be and even whether I should stay in New York. I remember reaching a point of extreme uncertainty and frustration. And I decided that I would just take a mental break.

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