Early in my college education, I wanted to join a fraternity—intensely. It appealed to me because of the camaraderie. Also, at that time, it was "the thing to do" on campus. It was obvious to me that fraternity life was part of being popular. More important though, the friendship and true bonding implied by the word fraternity appealed to me. Joining a fraternity required a simple petitioning, a long two months of fairly harmless indenturing, followed by an initiation process of one very long week of "abusive and humiliating tricks"—hazing. It seemed worth it, though, because my peers were demanding it.

One dictionary offers two definitions of the word haze—"lack of transparency; vagueness of mind or mental perception" and "to play abusive and humiliating tricks on by way of initiation." Many fraternities have insisted on hazing as an important part of initiation. Of course, it is certainly not necessary for true bonding. In my case, hazing actually had the unintended consequence of introducing me to God! It gave me the opportunity to put into practice the strength of my convictions that I had received through Christian Science Sunday School.

During the last night of the hazing tricks, we were taken on a long ride to the countryside, over 30 miles outside the city, and dumped out in the middle of the woods to find our way home without money or identification. We had been allowed to sleep or rest only a maximum of two hours per day for seven days, so we were pretty tired. We were blindfolded with duct tape tightly bound about our heads, and we were hoodwinked. During the ride, I knew my head was bound too tightly, and I was growing afraid, angry, disturbed, and began to feel as if my head were about to explode from pressure. I felt myself getting so nervous that I began to shake. So I turned to God for a solution.

Many quotations I'd memorized from the Bible and Science and Health came to mind, but nothing made a difference. Maybe I was expecting the duct tape to suddenly unravel itself and fly off into the distance. Apparently, I expected God to answer this prayerful petition by some physical intervention. When that didn't happen, I began to panic. Where was God? Was I going to have a nervous breakdown? What was the truth? Would I just "go crazy"?

At this stage I began to see the real "haze." The fraternity haze was the "lack of transparency." Something was trying to hide my well-being. This haze was obviously an illusion. I had to claim my true rights as the son of God. I ripped off the hooded headpiece and tore apart the duct tape. I took a stand for principle and told my future "brothers" that their acts had gone too far. I told them that God had told me enough is enough. That I was listening to God, and that they could dispose of me as they felt comfortable. I was not bothered with any action they might take, because the message "Enough is enough" had come from God, and I knew it for sure!

The carload of "brothers" was overwhelmed. They were convinced that I would succumb to peer pressure and do exactly as they had insisted. At this last stage of tenacious hazing, no one had ever challenged the process! They simply did not know how to react to my decision. In the end, though, they allowed me to continue in the rest of the initiation process, and I became a very active and loyal fraternity member. The important thing was that I had begun to really know God and make His laws my own. I took a stand for principle, and it worked.

Instead of being penalized for the stand that I took, soon after my initiation I was elected by my "brothers" to be pledge master—the chief officer in charge of the entire initiation process, including hazing. While changes in longstanding practices don't come easily, some important alterations were made. We no longer wrapped anyone's head tightly with anything! We also invited more active participation from faculty advisors, and this professional influence had a calming effect.

I used to ask my grandmother, "What is truth?" She would simply respond, "Billy, that's a good question for you to think about and answer." At the time, that didn't seem a fair answer. Why didn't she just give me the answer? Of course, she knew that I had to seek out the answer for myself. And with this experience in college, I began to actually see the truth.

That fraternity hazing was wrong—but it ended in a clearing away of haze for me. I got really near to God that night.