Article January 1, 1990 Issue

"I can help myself!"

Helen A. Del Negro

Have you ever used the excuse "I can't help myself" when you do something you know is wrong but just can't seem to resist doing? Most of us have at some time, I'm sure. But an article I read gave me some brand-new insights into this subject.

The author told how incest, promiscuity, addiction to alcohol, drugs, and gambling, are more and more frequently being classified as "diseases" to be medically treated. He speaks of a trend toward "the medicalization of deviance" and away from the individual's recognizing his responsibility for his own behavior. The writer called this relinquishment of moral responsibility "the New Obscenity." He writes, "It's not a four-letter word, but an oft-repeated statement that strikes at the very core of our humanity. The four words are: 'I can't help myself.'"^{William Lee Wilbanks, "The New Obscenity," Reader's Digest, December 1988 .} So much of society today operates strictly from the basis of instant gratification. There aren't enough rebukes for social drinking, "recreational" drug taking, and so-called "discreet" or "safe" promiscuity. These are often justified as harmless, and morality is condemned as unnecessary and unattractive— or simply irrelevant to the pursuit of happiness. What people don't realize is that there is only a fine line that divides present-day social acceptance from potential degradation. When an individual begins to justify his actions with "I can't help myself," he is dangerously near to crossing that line.

Of course, no one plans to become a drug addict or an alcoholic or the victim of a social disease. That's why self-justification is such a cheat. The first step toward these unhappy circumstances often begins as a result of peer pressure, the desire to be popular, to be accepted—in other words, to be loved. Actually, it's one's ignorance of who he really is that makes him vulnerable to peer pressure and causes him to look for love and happiness in the wrong direction.

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