Sufficient time has elapsed since the first beneficent influence...

Agnes Morley Cleaveland

Sufficient time has elapsed since the first beneficent influence of Christian Science came into my life to prove that its effects were neither illusory nor transient. I graduated from college with an entrenched conviction that any step in human progress must emanate from the experimental laboratory,—if not the biological or physical, at least the psychological. In fact, my scholastic training had left me scant respect for the deductive method of reasoning in general. Therefore the first cases of healing in Christian Science which came to my attention I dismissed as psychological phenomena,—presumably due to overstimulated imagination.

Immediately following my marriage there began the thorny path of suffering which ultimated in the rending of the garment of self-deception with which I was clothed. Beginning with malaria in an aggravated form, I passed successively through surgical operations—resulting from difficulties at the birth of my children—and nervous breakdown, until I found myself an almost complete wreck physically, and scarcely better off mentally and financially. Self-pity, and bitterness toward those whom I deemed not sufficiently sympathetic with my unhappy state, dominated my consciousness, until I was a source of distress to family and friends. Christian Science was offered to me at this point, but I rejected it contemptuously, convinced that these ills were not "imaginary." It was my privilege to accept the alternative, and I did so. This alternative was three more years of wretchedness.

One day I met a friend whose condition I had known to be in every respect as bad as my own, but behold, she appeared to be perfectly well, and what was more surprising, perfectly happy. She told me that Christian Science had healed her. This gave me food for thought, and ultimately led to my reluctant consent again to read "Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures," this time more conscientiously than my former critical state of mind had permitted. At first I got but little enlightenment, however, so deep was my prejudice against what I considered was Mrs. Eddy's illogical method. The style, moreover, was not what I considered appropriate for a text-book. When I expressed this feeling to my Scientist friend, she gave me a copy of "Unity of Good," also by Mrs. Eddy, possibly thinking that my prejudice against another volume might be less insistent. Whether or not this was the cause, at any rate it was this book which gave me the first glorious glimpse of that truth which was to free me from every one of my miseries. I then turned to Science and Health with a receptive mind, and from that hour to the present one my life has been constructive, hopeful, and to a greater or lesser degree useful to others.

Although there are daily problems to be worked out, as there must be until what Mrs. Eddy calls the "passage from sense to Soul" (Science and Health, p. 566) has been finished, despair has forever given place to confidence, ill health to physical well-being, and mental unrest and doubt to a reliance upon God as the only cause and creator. It has been five years since any material remedies have been used in our household, which includes four children. During this time scarlet fever, measles, whooping-cough, acute lung trouble, burns, fractures, and many minor ailments have put in an appearance only to be banished by the application of Christian Science. Some of the healings were practically instantaneous, others were slower, but all were ultimately accomplished. My last baby was born under Christian Science treatment with so little discomfort as to be negligible, whereas my previous experiences, as I have intimated, were such as to take me into the "valley of the shadow."

Grateful as I am for these physical benefits, it is only as they are signs following the mental and moral regeneration that they are significant. It is not in the spirit of doing penance, but rather is it with the desire to be as just as I was formerly unjust, that I make public expression of my gratitude to Mrs. Eddy for what she has done for mankind, only one sample of which is my own case. By making the Bible and Jesus' teachings comprehensible to me, she pointed the way to God, and no greater service can be conceived. If my life as well as my words shall bear witness to my gratitude, I shall be satisfied.

My healing has been permanent. I am in better health and more full of joy and peace today than ever before. In fact, my testimony hardly gives an adequate sense of the marvelous betterment in all my affairs which the study of Christian Science has brought to me.

Agnes Morley Cleaveland, Berkeley, Cal.

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