Finding my way back to Christian Science
I grew up attending Christian Science Sunday School, but at the beginning of my junior year in high school, it was the last place I wanted to be. I made excuses to avoid attending Wednesday evening testimony meetings at church, and I rolled my eyes when my parents brought up anything related to Christian Science. I didn’t feel I could talk to them about it, because I thought I would let them down if I told them I wasn’t sure about Christian Science.
While I continued to feel disconnected from Christian Science, everything else felt like it was falling apart, too. My schoolwork was challenging and overwhelming; I wasn’t progressing in my sport; and by Christmas break, one of my closest friendships had ended. When my friend reached out, we worked things out enough that we could be friendly. But I found it hard to forgive her.
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My relationship with my boyfriend also felt rocky. At first, we put things on pause. A little while later, we broke up. I was very upset and felt betrayed and alone.
While I continued to feel disconnected from Christian Science, everything else felt like it was falling apart, too.
Then, one of my friends who’s a Christian Scientist suggested that we listen together to a testimony meeting, which includes readings from the Bible and from Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures by Mary Baker Eddy along with testimonies of healing and insights from attendees’ individual practice of Christian Science. I was hesitant because I hadn’t been to a testimony meeting in so long. But I ended up listening in.
The main idea I got from the readings was that God supplies us with everything we need and that true fulfillment comes from knowing God. It was just what I needed to hear. I realized for the first time that I don’t have to rely on relationships, people, grades, or anything else to feel fulfilled.
After the service, I looked up a verse from the Bible that had been included. It says, “For a small moment have I forsaken thee; but with great mercies will I gather thee” (Isaiah 54:7). This showed me that even if I’d felt that I was separated from God and couldn’t reach out to Him, He was still there, loving and caring for me. If I didn’t feel I was specifically hearing God’s voice, that didn’t mean God wasn’t just as present as He’d always been.
But I still struggled with forgiving my friend and my ex and finding peace about these relationships.
A few days later, I was injured at my lifeguarding job. Since it happened while I was on the clock, I was asked to visit a doctor for legal reasons before I could return to work.
The doctor told me I had a severe heel strain. He said that I wouldn’t be able to work and that I should limit the amount of walking I did for at least a week. The doctor also encouraged me to take painkillers. He told me that if I wanted a quick recovery, this would be the only way to speed it up. But I knew I wanted to rely totally on Christian Science for healing.
Over the next few days, my parents and I prayed, and my mom shared a passage from Science and Health that stood out to me: “Constant toil, deprivations, exposures, and all untoward conditions, if without sin, can be experienced without suffering. Whatever it is your duty to do, you can do without harm to yourself. If you sprain the muscles or wound the flesh, your remedy is at hand.” Later on the page it continues, “Any supposed information, coming from the body or from inert matter as if either were intelligent, is an illusion of mortal mind,—one of its dreams. Realize that the evidence of the senses is not to be accepted in the case of sickness, any more than it is in the case of sin” (pp. 385–386).
When Wednesday night church came around the next week, each of the shared testimonies was relevant to what I’d been through.
This helped me understand that pain or any other discomfort doesn’t come from God. It’s just a mistaken way of thinking about things. And since I am the perfect and spiritual creation of God, divine Love, I can never be separate from God, so I can never be hurt.
When Wednesday night church came around the next week, the readings were about forgiveness. How perfect! Each of the testimonies shared was relevant to what I’d been through in my own relationships. That night, I felt so calm about everything. I felt I could wholeheartedly forgive my friend and my ex-boyfriend. I really understood that my friend, ex, and I are all children of God—the offspring of Love—with no emotional or physical injuries attached.
The next day, at my follow-up appointment with the doctor, I was cleared to go back to work. This happened in a much shorter time frame than the doctor had predicted. When the doctor asked if I had taken medication, I said no. The doctor seemed surprised because of how quickly I’d recovered.
I was able to return to all my normal activities, including my work, right away.
I am very grateful to have reconnected with Christian Science and to see how my study and practice of Christian Science leads to healing.