Article June 12, 2023 Issue

When peace dawned

I sensed that the only way out of this turmoil was a renewed commitment to the religion I’d always loved.

Name Withheld

It was the darkest period of my life.

I’d recently moved to a new city to begin a new career, but I was having serious doubts about whether either the city or the career was really right for me. I was heavily in debt, had no fixed place to live, and couldn’t even afford a car. In addition, my marriage was deeply troubled; my wife had stayed behind as various things were being sorted out. (Otherwise, everything was fine!)

At times, I’d ask myself how I’d gotten into such a mess. Then I’d reflect on certain choices I’d made and see the answer all too clearly: I’d brought the mess on myself. Guilt, doubt, self-condemnation, confusion, anxiety, and despair washed over me in waves.

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When peace dawned

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