Confidence gained through understanding God

As a rather quiet and independent person, I had always gotten through life’s challenges in my own way using my own resources. I also put great pressure on myself to perform perfectly in different areas of my life. Yet my confidence would be shaken easily by little things that threw me off, such as someone’s tone or something somebody might have said about my work. I was constantly fearful of failure—of looking stupid, saying the wrong thing, and so on.

All of this came to a head recently. I got a great promotion several months ago to manage a team of 13 statisticians that I’d previously been a part of. There had just been a reorganization of the company, and the team had moved into a different department and been given greater responsibilities. The main challenge I faced was finding a way to support the team members and help them achieve their potential while we all adjusted to new ways of working. 

I felt ill-equipped in many ways to be the team’s leader. I lacked the confidence needed to be effective and helpful. For example, I needed to be able to network effectively to build relationships outside the team and at a higher corporate level than I was used to—which I had always found really scary. I was self-conscious—frightened of appearing incapable or saying the wrong thing, of being rejected, excluded, or embarrassed and made fun of. I had previously run out of networking events and cocktail parties in tears.

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January 6, 2020

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