Article July 3, 2006 Issue

Lonely? Leave it to God

BY CAROL MATTHEWS-NICOLI

THIS WAS IT. My moment of truth. Standing in line in the college cafeteria, I stared at the display of ziti and cheese, and waited for an answer to my prayer.

About three weeks before this moment, I'd moved into my dorm room in New York City and waited to meet my new college roommate. Leaving behind all my close relationships at home had seemed the start of a great adventure. But it hadn't taken long for loneliness to sink in—along with the sudden understanding that it takes a lot of time to make friends as connected as my group back home. When this fear was strongest, I felt relieved knowing there was someone assigned to live with me. At least I wouldn't be completely alone.

As it turned out, my roommate and I got along remarkably well. But the security of having her around vanished all too soon when she announced her boyfriend was flying in for her birthday. They wanted to be alone. The only problem was that I'd mostly hung out with my roommate and hadn't made many new "hang-out" friends. What was I supposed to do with myself, alone on a Friday evening? I still had no options in sight.