SENTINEL WATCH June 16, 2003 Issue

Is it right to forgive?

By Richard Bergenheim

Brooklyn, New York, is an enormous religious melting pot, and a couple of weeks ago, I went to hear an interfaith panel discuss the subject of prayer. Someone brought up the idea of forgiveness, and what I heard was surprising. One speaker started by telling how a particular group's strong, unselfish stand for forgiveness had brought peace to the community, which had been torn apart by violence and strife. But the others on the panel rejected the importance of forgiveness.

One woman declared there are many things that cannot be forgiven—ever. Another speaker felt it was immoral to ask anyone who was oppressed to forgive the oppressor. The final speaker agreed, saying that an emphasis on forgiveness would undermine the road to justice.

When the discussion started, I had expected everyone would agree that forgiveness is a virtue—something to aim for. I knew that countless people have been horribly harmed in ways that are hard to imagine, and that forgiveness can seem impossible. But I thought there would be agreement among Muslims, Jews, and Christians that forgiving is an essential element to healing, to social progress, to restoring one's life. Yet the representatives from all three groups strongly objected to the idea.