Article March 22, 1993 Issue

How can I help?

Supporting our children in decisionmaking starts with turning to God in prayer.

Herbert Dresser

We see someone standing on a street corner looking at a map and then looking around to figure out where he is. We instinctively want to help. And if we know the area, we might very well be able to point him in the right direction or even guide him to his destination.

But what if we're faced with a more complicated need? Suppose we are parents and we want to make sure we are assisting our children in the best way as they make more and more of their own decisions. Maybe a child is contemplating a choice, and we feel sure we know the appropriate way to go. Should we step in and make the decision? Or should we keep out of it and let the child sink or swim? Or should we take some middle road?

There's no pat answer, of course, but there is something we can always do: pray. We can ask our all-loving, all-wise Father-Mother—who is also our child's true Parent—to guide us. And, as with all humble petitions to God, we are best able to hear divine leadings when we let go of what we think we want God to tell us—when we can truly say, in Christ Jesus' words, "I seek not mine own will, but the will of the Father ...." We also need to make sure that our goal is not personally to set someone else straight. An attitude of superiority is not conducive to Christlike trust in God.

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