Article August 21, 1989 Issue

A change of thought—not suicide

The Christian Science Monitor®

Could I do it? Could I really climb out on the sill and jump? People walking in streets below me looked far away. There was the man I had been dating and was in love with strolling with another woman. Depression had brought me to this point often before. But this time I put my hands on the sash. Now I had to face it. Would it do any good to take my life? Oh, I could jump and put a period to the present circumstances. But my life wouldn't stop. I knew this for certain. And I rather wished that I didn't; it would be easier not to know.

As a student of the Bible I had read and reread the Gospel accounts of Jesus' life. He had been crucified and buried. Then, to people's amazement, he walked among them again. He had the same body, the same crucifixion, and that had been part of his crucifixion, and the same compassion. He was not dead. He had even said earlier, "Whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die."^{John 11:26.}

I really did understand something about him as the Messiah. His way of seeing the world was a lot different than mine at that moment. The fact that he had been resurrected showed me that man lives forever. This is why I knew that even if I jumped from the window, I would go on living—somewhere. I would be myself. Suicide wouldn't change me. It wouldn't end my awful thinking.

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