At one time I had to contend with a condition of athlete's foot so severe that it required bandaging. I was working on and off with a Christian Science practitioner, and praying earnestly to be healed of deeprooted irritation and frustration. The practitioner pointed out that the foot trouble was simply another aspect of the belief that there is life and sensation in matter, or mortal mind. The frustration had to be unmasked and recognized as self-righteousness and self-will. Although I finally felt that I had yielded to my divine right to be truly satisfied, and my freedom to see and do God's will, the disease persisted.

One day I visited in the area where my Christian Science teacher resides, and I humbly asked her for help. She talked to me about the city foursquare mentioned in the Apocalypse (see Rev. 21:16). She likened the city to God-given consciousness, which expresses divine harmony and brings to our lives equality and symmetry, inspiration and spiritual understanding. After I'd left her office, the vision of light and loveliness stayed with me, and there seemed to be a happy radiance everywhere. I forgot about the foot condition. When I retired that night, there was no need for the bandages. The feet were healed and have remained so.

I am particularly grateful for protection from grief at the time of my husband's passing. A beautiful passage from Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures by Mary Baker Eddy was my mainstay (pp. 574–575): "The very circumstance, which your suffering sense deems wrathful and afflictive, Love can make an angel entertained unawares. Then thought gently whispers: 'Come hither! Arise from your false consciousness into the true sense of Love, and behold the Lamb's wife,—Love wedded to its own spiritual idea.' "

It was plain that I could lose only a personal, or false, sense of love, for I could never be separated from divine Love, which had always "husbanded" and cherished me. During the past six years, the presence of God's love has been a very concrete thing, blessing me in numerous practical ways.

I had to take over my husband's large business. Despite my lack of experience, I felt confident that infinite Mind would guide me and that intelligent activity of good would be evident in every department. Abilities I never dreamed I had enabled me to cope with the demands. Many times it was necessary to declare that I was in the very midst of the all-knowing Mind, the manifestation of its perfect activity. When I felt overwhelmed by the prodigious amount of detail, I was helped by these verses from Psalms (139:17, 18): "How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! how great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they are more in number than the sand." Then, instead of being burdened by the many details, I focused on God's pure thoughts, which are endlessly communicated to man.

The first year there was a recession going on, and although I worked extremely hard, there were no sales. It became necessary to insist, hourly and continually, that there is really only one law in operation, the law of divine Principle, which always brings proper fulfillment. I strove to be humble and responsive to God's love, to put aside a mortal self. I was sure that trust in Principle's government of all who were involved would bring a direct blessing.

For about a year or two I was beset by physical difficulties, including hypertension, dizziness, and nervous exhaustion. There were frequent calls to a practitioner, and I prayed and studied many hours in the early morning and in the evening. To my knowledge, no one but the practitioner knew of the illness. I was so Love-sustained during this period that I kept up a heavy schedule as well as my church work. And, often throughout each day, I paused for a few minutes to acknowledge divine Mind's total control.

A breakthrough occurred when it became evident that I was unwittingly cherishing beliefs about the past and allowing a material concept of identity to make laws for me. There were old fears that I tired easily and did not work well under pressure; also, that a nervous breakdown, which I had suffered years earlier, might recur. Such arguments had to be routed out of consciousness and destroyed. Mrs. Eddy advises us (Retrospection and Introspection, p. 22), "The human history needs to be revised, and the material record expunged." Through prayer these fears were dispelled as baseless lies that had never touched my true nature. Then I was free to work as long and hard as necessary, and to love the work and feel benefited by it. This still took constant watchfulness and the recognition that each demand was an opportunity to utilize God-derived qualities. The physical difficulties gradually faded, until full freedom was established. Little by little the sales steadily improved until the completion of the project, and I was released by the overseas partners from further involvement. I deeply value the lessons learned during those four years.

I am unceasingly grateful for God's wonderful gift to Mrs. Eddy, shared through her wise leadership. She made untold sacrifices in presenting and preserving for us the revelation of divine Science. I pray to show my appreciation by a greater consecration to our Cause.

CHRISTINE JANETTE WILKINS
Highland Beach, Florida