Article November 5, 1979 Issue

Striving yet yielding

CLARE L. GATES

God is forever at hand, upholding us, assuring us of His unfailing goodness. Sometimes during a busy day, though, it's difficult not to become confused and begin thinking we've somehow lost God. Everything else can start seeming more real than He. Unless we're alert, we may drift into ungodlike beliefs and actions.

Through the study of Christian Science I've learned that we can never actually lose touch with our creator, God. Mrs. Eddy describes what it's like to feel God's presence. In her spiritual interpretation of the name "Japhet," one of Noah's sons, she brings out this feeling: "A type of spiritual peace, flowing from the understanding that God is the divine Principle of all existence, and that man is His idea, the child of His care."^{Science and Health, p. 589;}

At one time this peace seemed out of my grasp. College graduation was approaching, and everything was going wrong—classes, athletics, dormitory life, and other activities. On top of that, every time I finally went to bed at night, I had a terrible headache. I knew I shouldn't have to put up with this unhappy state, because I had learned as a Christian Scientist about God's care and love for me. Nevertheless, I felt empty and decided I had to try harder to experience God's presence—really strive to feel it. I was familiar with these words of Mrs. Eddy's in Science and Health: "Christian Science reveals a necessity for overcoming the world, the flesh, and evil, and thus destroying all error." And she goes on to say: "Seeking is not sufficient. It is striving that enables us to enter."^{ibid., p. 10;} My method of striving, though, only made things worse. I finally decided to ask a Christian Science practitioner for help.

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