Since I had been an elementary school teacher, I had been...

Since I had been an elementary school teacher, I had been oriented to children and teaching. But upon completing a doctorate in education, I approached with some fear my first job as a university faculty member in full standing. Because the institution, like many, was regarded as a "publish (research) or perish" university, survival for me seemed to depend upon my behaving in ways that seemed foreign. I was afraid that if I didn't conduct research projects or have works published, I would lose my job.

My response to this was to try and model my behavior after one of my colleagues, a very competent researcher and teacher. She seemed to epitomize to me the professional woman. It soon became apparent that I could not possibly do what she was doing; I couldn't be like her. Then panic and fear for my future at that university almost overwhelmed me.

Testimony of Healing
It is now almost ten years since I began...
October 26, 1974

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