Article June 22, 1899 Issue

Drifting Unconsciously into Christian Science

J. M. J.

Unless one has been born and brought up an Episcopalian as I have been, taught to believe in the apostolic succession, the sacredness of the laying on of hands descended from a long line of bishops and clergy of lesser distinction, they cannot understand my struggles and difficulties in endeavoring to get out of it all into Christian Science, especially having been taught by a dearly loved mother who was opposed to my having anything to do with any but orthodox theology.

Years of sickness, strong laws made for me by several doctors, some of them near relatives, whose help was only temporary, caused me, when I heard of Christian Science, to turn to it for physical healing; but when I heard of a theology as the foundation and principle of its healing, I opposed it, because I found the doctrines so different from everything I had been taught to believe right. Wanting only what was right, I honestly and conscientiously turned away from it; this very opposition, as I since believe, was the cause of one claim after another asserting itself. Naturally help came slowly and discouragement followed. Wanting only the healing at this time, I tried to compromise matters by taking that part of the teaching of Christian Science into my church, but found it would not work. At times I tried to give it up altogether, in fact I never tried so hard to do anything in my life, but that, too, failed; for I could not get rid of Christian Science thoughts. All this time I was in a most unsettled condition of mind, because I was fighting against the Truth. Many times I have wished some person or power could or would decide the question for me. My thoughts were honest in wanting to do strictly what was right. Could it be right to give up all I had been taught for this new religion? No, it could not; and so I reasoned, fancying I had settled the difficulty forever and decided to stay in my own church. But what about that voice which seemed to follow me? I could not shake it off. I would question what it meant. Vacillating for ever so long, availing myself of opportunities to talk with Scientists who always lovingly did all in their power to clear away my doubts; reading, studying, struggling; discouragements often trying to keep the Truth from me; but I am thankful to say by perseverance the light grows clearer.

A time comes to most of us after probably years spent in the churches, when we begin to think for ourselves, and what an awakening it is! What sad regrets for all the good we might have done had we started out in life with a proper understanding of life and God as taught in Science and Health. Our thoughts go back and we take a retrospective glance at our wasted, unsatisfying lives. Six months ago, if told I had to decide between my own Church and Christian Science, I would unhesitatingly have said, My Church; now I would without a moment's hesitation say, Christian Science,—its thoughts are helpful and uplifting. And yet I cannot say just where or how my thoughts became changed. Quietly working with a determination to know that Truth that maketh free, I have pressed forward, until I have unconsciously drifted into Christian Science.—J. M. J., Toronto, Canada.

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Drifting Unconsciously into Christian Science

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