Lack of Faith Overcome

I feel very deeply my debt to Christian Science, and to a most loyal apostle for the knowledge gained of God's creation, the Science of Life, which has not only healed me of seemingly incurable lung trouble, but raised me to a plane where all past unhappy, unsuccessful, and hopeless conditions of life are fast being forgotten, and I am beginning to know life as I never knew it before. I was what is called a very sensitive child, and longed many a time to do what more sturdy and less self-conscious children did with ease. I did not inherit a strong constitution. I was not satisfied nor contented, and went to extremes, both physically and mentally, suffering often from colds and sick headaches. I was advised, cautioned, and judged, until I really believed that I was oppressed beyond reason, and questioned very much the justice of it all.

About twenty years ago, typhoid pneumonia kept me in bed nine weeks, and it was over a year before strength could be gained to pursue any occupation. Each winter after this I suffered from hard colds on the lungs, each attack becoming more and more severe. I was examined for life insurance about this time and rejected on account of my lungs, and was advised to seek a milder climate. My regular physician, after a careful examination, diagnosed the case, and advised me not to spend another winter in Chicago. I went to Colorado, where five years were spent trying to get strong to to overcome the sentence that my chances of life were such that I could only expect to extend it by being very careful. During the first year I improved somewhat, but at the end of five years I returned to Chicago, discouraged, hopeless, and was compelled to take Christian Science treatment, for I had tried everything else and was literally dying by inches. My progress was slow, owing, as I now see, to my lack of courage to rely wholly upon God's help. I had no faith in, or understanding of, God, and when pressed hard resorted to material means. There was the trouble. How to become spiritually minded and get some idea of who and what God is, seemed the only way. I read Science and Health day and night. I felt the knowledge was in that book to make me absolutely free from all troubles. This brought courage and a more earnest desire for the Truth, yet it was some time before I thought that I could rely wholly upon Christian Science; but progress was being made in all directions, until at last I overcame a cold on my lungs without any material assistance. The hard study and earnest desire had done good work.

I felt that I was on the right road to health and happiness, and if I were courageous I would win. While meeting the claim that night, iodine, mustard, whiskey, and quinine were quite forgotten, and I trusted entirely to God's goodness and allness to bring about the desired results. Here was real progress. I had met that which I most feared, conquered the fear, and found that my body responded, the lungs cleared up, I breathed naturally, and went to sleep feeling that I was master; not only healed, but I could almost see this life as a dream, in which, through living the life of Love, we had dominion and would eventually wake up to the true sense of Life. I awoke in the morning, after a good night's rest, not quite so well, I thought, although conscious of a great victory. This same claim was met afterwards many times, and when I held strictly to the truth of Being without any material help I found myself stronger each time. But when intense fear drove me to material means, it always took longer, and there was also a sense of depression or failure. The knowledge gained through demonstration had made many things plain which before were not understood. I am now in better health than I have ever known. I feel a great sense of freedom totally new to me, and I am satisfied that a scientific knowledge of the true meaning of Scripture and Christian life will bring health and happiness to the whole human race. Christian Science is a greater blessing to mankind than is generally understood.

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Church Organized at Santa Ana, Cal
February 16, 1899
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