Recently, I have had a number of discussions with a dear friend about spirituality. We talked about how loving yourself from a spiritual standpoint leads to loving others more clearly and deeply. Loving ourselves without judgment is also required. It is essential. 

As individual ideas of God and the reflection of divine Love, when we see ourselves as perfect children of God and claim the truth of this spiritual fact, we see that everyone around us is also inherently sinless, spiritual. We find ourselves looking into “the face of God” when we see our fellow man.

Acknowledging that our identity is entirely Spirit-based, allowing ourselves this kindness, without applying human judgment, opens our thought to how the divine power works in our lives. We get personal sense out of the way and see the healing, loving, guidance of the Christ-idea living through us. We recognize the “man” of God’s creating (see Science and Health, p. 475), open our thought to perfection and peace, and let this view inform our actions. Like a beautiful spring flower coming into bloom, every development in our lives becomes full of purpose and joy.

How has this concept blossomed for me? After a divorce and relocation, I was faced with rebuilding my life with few resources. I was frequently angry, frightened, and depressed. I also found that I was becoming cynical and critical of those around me. The worse I felt about myself and my situation, the more critical I became in my heart toward others. And anxiety was eating me alive.

At this point, a friend suggested I speak to a member of my local Christian Science branch church for support. As we talked about my experience and how I was feeling, he would gently point me in the direction of being kind to myself.

Each of us is free to remove self-condemnation. . . . I picture it like removing an old coat.

He made the point that our Father-Mother God was always loving us, in our perfect spiritual selfhood, seeing in us only the life He created. After a time, as he continued to help me see beyond the damaged, hurt, and bitter perception I held of myself, I began to see a child of God who was truly working out the solution to her problems. Step by step, I turned away from a poor self-concept to the light of Christ. Eventually, feelings of regret and failure dissipated. The discouraging idea that maybe I should have done things better or differently gave way to the thought that: I am doing better now. And that’s something to be grateful for. Also, the fear that I might choose to be in another relationship that didn’t work out dissolved and I formed many loving friendships. The man who talked me through many of these healing steps became a dear friend.

In Science and Health, Mary Baker Eddy states, “Atonement is the exemplification of man’s unity with God, whereby man reflects divine Truth, Life, and Love” (p. 18). I’ve learned that seeing our unity with God, as His likeness, transforms how we think about ourselves. Man reflects his true source: Life, Truth, and Love. With this revelation, we can be free of self-loathing, despair, and depression. Each of us is free to remove self-condemnation, change course or forgive when necessary, and refuse to believe that man is a hopeless sinner. I picture it like removing an old coat. We are in this moment, and in each moment, “reborn” as the reflection of God. Any sense of “should have, could have” can be washed away with the balm of divine Love.  

Mrs. Eddy expanded on the necessary qualities of a healer in Science and Health: “A mental state of self-condemnation and guilt or a faltering and doubting trust in Truth are unsuitable conditions for healing the sick. . . . You must utilize the moral might of Mind in order to walk over the waves of error and support your claims by demonstration. If you are yourself lost in the belief and fear of disease or sin, and if, knowing the remedy, you fail to use the energies of Mind in your own behalf, you can exercise little or no power for others’ help” (p. 455). 

It’s pretty tough to heal from a starting place of self-condemnation, regret, or judgment. A spiritual view of ourself washes us clean. Then the way we view everyone we meet becomes more loving, gentle, and kind, and new vistas open up daily. We awaken to divine Love—fresh, clean and pure every moment. We are at one with God and we experience that at-one-ment. So let God’s lovingkindness be your guide, and find out what it means to be truly kind to yourself.