Putting a stop to retail therapy
Originally appeared on spirituality.com
People joke about retail therapy—buying things to make you happy. In fact there’s even a current movie about it called Confessions of a Shopaholic. But when you’re caught in the middle of that behavior, shopping compulsively for things you don’t need, it’s no joke.
I used to have a habit of buying things to make me feel good. I particularly used to do it when I was working in jobs I didn’t enjoy; jobs that I didn’t feel used my God-given talents. I justified my behavior by thinking, “If I have to work in this stupid job, at least I’m going to make earning money worthwhile by buying nice things.” The problem was, the “high” I felt from buying something nice never lasted, and was often replaced by guilt that I had overspent on unnecessary items. One time, this all came to a head, and I realized I wanted to pray about my actions.
This particular time, I’d been working in a job I didn’t like and went out on a mini shopping spree. Impulsively, I bought two really expensive short skirts and some leather boots. When I got home though, I realized the items I’d chosen were way too impractical and would add some big numbers to my credit card bill. Instead of feeling satisfied, the guilt set in. But this time, I was willing to admit I had a problem and that it needed to be solved. I turned to God in prayer. Intuitively, I knew I needed to learn that satisfaction comes from God and from expressing my God-given talents, and I also needed to understand what exactly those God-given talents were.
I have always found, through my study of Christian Science, that whenever I sincerely talk with God and listen to Him, I will get an answer. And this time was no exception. My prayer went something like “Dear God, I know what I’ve been doing isn’t smart and I need Your help. What should I do?” Well, I sat on the stairs and opened my Bible, and my eyes fell on this verse in Isaiah “...and thine iniquity is taken away, and thy sin purged.” Now, I realize that a shopping spree might not seem like a “sin.” But I’ve learned that sin can simply mean doing anything that separates me from worshipping God more fully.
And so I felt this was a promise from God that I would be healed of this behavior and that God would show me what to do. Since it wasn’t feasible to return the specific items I’d bought, two other ideas came to me. One was to contact a friend of mine who also bought the same brand of skirts and see if she or any of her friends wanted to buy them from me at a discounted price, and the second idea was to sell the leather boots on an online auction site. That gave me instant relief, and I was able to sell all three things in a very short amount of time and substantially lower my debt.
But I still felt prompted to look a little deeper in prayer. What was it that was impelling me to do this impulsive shopping anyway? I reflected on the idea that I’d been buying unnecessary items because I was looking for satisfaction I wasn’t receiving through my job. I then felt God gently leading me to look at and to question my choice of work. Why did I always accept jobs that weren’t really suited to me? Couldn’t I expect that I could find work that would both satisfy me and use my unique God-given talents?
Over the next six months I really started to delve deeper into discovering and acknowledging my spiritual qualities and abilities that came straight from God. I remember one morning, lying in bed, and a list came to me. Like a shopping list, but it was a list of my talents. First was creativity, second was compassion, third was the ability to be inspired and inspire others, and fourth was the idea of expressing fun and joy. I quickly grabbed a pen and wrote those ideas down. Then it came to me that maybe if I looked at all the jobs I’d done in the past that I loved, they’d be a combination of these four talents. So I wrote down the jobs I’d loved, jobs that had satisfied me, and I found this was exactly right! They were a combination of those exact four talents. Now this, knowing my unique gifts from God, was immensely satisfying. Not surprisingly, not too long after this revelation came to me, I ended up leaving the particular line of work I didn’t like and accepted a job that suited me better—work that used all of the talents that were on my list.
Now, ironically, even though I’m being paid a lot more to do work that I love, I find I don’t need to spend on unnecessary items. I’ve learned where my true satisfaction comes from. And for the first time in my life, I’m actually saving money. If I do buy things, I pray about whether or not I should buy them, and then make purchases that reflect fiscal responsibility and an appreciation for beauty.
What I love about this experience is that God not only showed me how to stop the impulsive buying, but also led me to find where satisfaction really comes from. It comes from expressing and knowing God.