Gratitude -don't let envy get in the way

Gratitude lets in the light.

By Lori Ann Jakuc

My friends all seemed to be doing better than I was. Though we were just starting out in our careers, I couldn't help measuring my success, or lack of it, by my friends. One friend made more money, one friend was engaged to be married, and one had a better apartment. So what did I do? I went shopping. I partied. But mostly, I complained.

After years of being unhappy this way, I became fearful that I would never be satisfied with my life. There was no joy in my job, social life, or shopping sprees. Finally at the breaking point, I realized that I needed to look deeper to find true happiness. I surely had not found it with the superficial lifestyle I'd been living.

Thinking back, I tried to remember when I had last been really happy and content. I remembered my family home and the love expressed daily. I remembered the summer camp I had attended as a child, where I learned to listen to and rely on God. However, since college (I had to admit), I had been stubborn about proving my independence from my family and had not been disciplined about strengthening my relationship to God. I now realized I needed more than a sunny disposition to be happy. I needed to understand the source of true happiness.

My healing began with renewing my commitment to God and expressing more of His qualities. Science and Health, the textbook of Christian Science, states, "Prayer cannot change the Science of being, but it tends to bring us into harmony with it" (p. 2). We cannot change the amount of good coming to us from God, since it is already infinitely available. What we can learn is how to see and express it more.

My embrace of this concept led me to a new idea—the need to acknowledge God's love for each of His children as equal and unconditional. He does not favor one child over another. Infinite good fills all space. This means that I have as much access to good as my friends do. I decided to strive to discover the good that was already available.

My outward circumstances did not immediately change, but gratitude brought a sense of completeness.

I refused each thought that suggested I lacked something good, and instead looked for the abundance that God had already provided for me. My apartment, though small, was well located, so I could walk to work. My demanding job allowed me to meet interesting people and work with beautiful antiques and fabrics. As I saw these blessings, new assignments were no longer burdens but, instead, opportunities to express order and harmony. I noticed something else for the first time—my friends, whether married or single, were consistently inclusive and thoughtful. New friendships developed as I became more loving and joyful. Even when a friend got a great new job, I was able to be joyful for this universal illustration of God's love and supply.

As my outlook changed to include gratitude for all aspects of my situation, the sense of lack became one of spiritual abundance. My outward circumstances did not immediately change, but gratitude brought a sense of completeness.

Envy is a smoke screen that would obscure a life of blessings. Don't let it ruin your view.

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THE ABC's OF GRATITUDE

November 22, 1999

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