Thinking it through: finding somebody

Originally published in a 1991 special edition Christian Science Sentinel “Finding somebody”

It's not much fun hugging thin air. And too many nights of talking to the cat make conversation rather flat! But there's always the third option.

From the time we are young children (remember the game old maid?) we acquire this sense that we will either end up "with somebody" or end up lonely. Movies, books, love songs, tradition, virtually insist that those are substantially our only two options. But all along there's been another option—really not the third, but the only one. It is to find love itself. It's something we all have to find—frequently after marriage—if we would find the love we long for.

We rarely think in terms other than love being because of people—particularly certain special people who love us more than anyone else. But love isn't a phenomenon of “twos.” We have love most when we most understand who we really are.

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