When listening replaced lists
At one time in my life, I had a to-do list for everything—a list of tasks to do at work, a list of ideas for teaching Sunday School, a shopping list, a list of things to fix around the house, etc.
When I was promoted from deputy principal to principal within the state education system where I worked, I joined the new batch of principal appointees for a week full of conferences and workshops. One particular workshop was on “time management,” which to me can be a fancy administrative term for making lists. In the class, we were each given a stack of notebooks for making lists to help us in our schoolwork. Wow, I thought, this is just what I need!
Looking back now, I realize that I wasn’t alert to the materialistic thinking involved in the concept of time management. I was constantly concerned with having only so many hours in a day, prioritizing my tasks, and estimating how long each job would take. It was a very limited way of thinking.
And while taking practical steps to manage one’s time can be a good and helpful practice, I had taken it too far. I made more and more lists until I had lists of jobs to do for every moment of my day. Each list was meticulously kept and then checked off as work was completed.
My life was so tightly bound by planning my day and keeping to the plan that I became constantly unhappy and impatient. I’d become stressed at school if too many interruptions got in the way of the most important jobs on my list. I’d grow inwardly angry if my tasks were sidelined when unexpected friends and relatives came to visit me in my home. It was as if “time management” had become my god. I trusted the lists for order and harmony in my life instead of God. And eventually I felt as if I were on a treadmill, carrying a heavy burden of all my “to-do’s” with me. There was no room in my day for spontaneous ideas, inspiration, or loving my neighbors. So I prayed to regain my peace and happiness.
To focus my prayers, I studied the Bible and Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures by Mary Baker Eddy. This quote became the light of my life at this dark time: “Life is, like Christ, ‘the same yesterday, and to-day, and forever.’ Organization and time have nothing to do with Life” (Science and Health, p. 249 ). I also loved thinking about a line from John Lennon’s song “Beautiful Boy” that seemed to sum up my situation: “Life is just what happens to you, / While you’re busy making other plans.”
All my fears about time and organization ended.
It dawned on me that organizing my every moment had become the main focus of my life because I was afraid of not having enough time. I felt bound by those lists and was no longer living life freely and energetically. I was loving only those people who fitted nicely into my routines and schedules. Then I remembered that a wise friend once told me that we must beware of routines or they’ll prevent us from yielding to God’s guidance in our day-to-day activities.
The moment of truth came when I woke up one day before work, reached for my first to-do list for the day, and read: “1. Get up.” I stared at those words and thought, “Fancy me not getting up until my list told me to!” I lay there in bed and laughed and laughed. When I saw how ridiculous my lists were, all my fears about time and organization ended. That day I threw out almost all my lists and turned to God for how to live each moment of my day.
Soon I found that starting each day by listening to God brings a sense of harmony to my home and workplace. Even on my busiest days, when it feels as though I don’t have time for long and involved prayers or Bible study, it only takes a few minutes for me to stop and feel the peaceful presence of the one God governing the harmonious movement of His universe. Listening for God’s voice has gradually become second nature to me. My life is now fun and full of loving and giving again. I’ve found that by trusting that God, the all-knowing Mind, plans abundant goodness for our days, I am reminded of things that need to be done at exactly the right time.
